Ivanka Trump Thinks Little Marco Rubio’s Senate Seat Would Look Fetching On Her

Trump

Speculation is swirling, which means a story was carefully planted (allegedly), that Ivanka Trump, the daughter of somebody we used to know, is considering a run for the Senate. She's bought land in Florida, and upon this swamp, she'll build her political career.

Trump and her first husband, Jared Kushner, have acquired property in an “exclusive enclave" near Miami Beach that boasts the nickname “billionaire's bunker." Presumably, they tolerate fake billionaires in the bunker. It's nice that they aren't too snobby.

CNN reports:

The lot, which is just shy of two acres and sits on Biscayne Bay, was listed at $31.8 million and the couple offered somewhere in the range of $28-30 million, the source said. The sale is pending under contract, meaning the buyer's offer has been accepted by the seller, who happens to be legendary Spanish crooner Julio Iglesias.

The dollar amount is stunning, but comparable to the other 29 estates and 11 lots that make up Indian Creek
Island, an ultra-private "village," as one local real estate expert describes area. "(Indian Creek Island) is one of Miami's most private and sought after neighborhoods, frequented by high net-worth individuals seeking privacy," said Dora Puig, who has during her career sold more than $3 billion worth of real estate and is the owner of a luxury boutique brokerage in the area. (Puig was not involved in the sale or purchase of the Trump-Kushner transaction.)

We wish Ivanka and Jared a lifetime of privacy that comes from no one having to give a fuck about them ever again. However, the MAGA Princess won't go quietly into exile. A “source" confirms with CNN that "Ivanka definitely has political ambitions, no question about it ... She wants to run for something, but that still needs to be figured out."

Quick! Someone get Ivanka Trump the latest Sharper Image Catalog Of Non-Strenuous Political Positions. Preferably those that don't involve a lot of public speaking, because like her father she is bad at it:


Marco Rubio's Senate seat goes back on the market in 2022, and Trump has her eye on it as a launching pad for a presidential run.

"I think she'd be the immediate frontrunner if she ran for US Senate against Rubio, given her father's popularity in the Sunshine State," Adam C Smith, former Tampa Bay Times political editor and now consultant with Mercury Public Affairs, told CNN.

Little Marco endorsed Donald Trump after suddenly forgetting he was Donald Trump, carried his polluted water for four years, and now Ivanka's considering stabbing him in the back like a common Trump. Rubio was already humiliated by Trump in the GOP presidential primary, so it's not inconceivable that Ivanka, with Daddy's endorsement, might pants him politically.

And, yes, that's hilarious. I'd enjoy nothing more than seeing Rubio's empty suit lose to Ivanka Trump's empty ... well, everything. But the entertainment value from watching Trump crush Rubio in his home state wasn't worth us having to endure the Trump administration. As bad as Rubio is, Ivanka Trump is inarguably worse. Our democracy, currently held together with duct tape, might not survive it.

It's interesting and completely in character that Ivanka Trump has seemingly accepted her father's loss and moved on, while actively plotting her next move. Meanwhile, her elder brother, Donald Jr., is licking his familial wounds in what looks like a random Motel 6.

Ivanka Trump isn't interested in her father and brother's blood feud with the Bidens. She wants to be president and that must never happen. We owe it to our beleaguered allies.

[The Guardian / CNN]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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