Jack Abramoff Remorseless, Bigger Than Jesus

Meeee and my shaaaadow - WonketteKim Eisler, one-time friend of imprisoned lobbyist Jack Abramoff, has a pretty good piece on the disgraced former power player in this month's Washingtonian. As everything collapsed around him, Jack basically became a Scorcese character.

"We were a band of killers," he said of his lobbying practice. "We did a lot of bad things." He was proud of the fact that if someone got between him and the interests of his clients, he would do everything possible to destroy them.

It's good to know that, at heart, Jack is still the guy who produced and co-wrote Red Scorpion. The guy's got an ear for dialogue.

More fun with Jack, after the jump.

We also share Eisler's wish that when appearing before the Senate, Jack had, instead of pleading the fifth, given a speeches more like this:

Of Iowa senator Charles Grassley, chair of the Senate Finance committee, who had been critical of Abramoff, Jack said: "You can say you have a good source that Grassley not only carried my water on the Bear Council issue [a fight over tribal recognition in Grassley's state] and received a ton of contributions in return, but he also did one of the biggest asks from Abramoff ever, taking Tyco out of the tax bill. . . . They would have been hit with a $4-billion tax bill."

Finally, Eisler's been putting up unedited Abramoff emails at his personal site for a while now. We missed this one before, but it's a fun one:

To: 'Kim Eisler office'
Subject: I beat Clooney!.

Go to and put in my name and then do the same for Clooney.

I"m at 12M + and he's only at 9M+. I win!! :)


Something to be proud of. Sadly, as of 1/32/07, he's 200,000 results behind "britney spears vagina."

The Other Jack Abramoff [Washingtonian]

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Oh good, Jared Kushner decided to pick today to come out from the hidey hole where he back channels with Russians and the Saudi Murder Prince while lustily fingering the security clearance unlawfully procured for him by an unelected president.

That's just super.

It was at the Time 100 event, not because Jared was on the Time 100 this year, but we guess because he was on it in 2017. His profile back then was written by Henry Kissinger, who predicted he would be a "success." We guess this happened during a part of the event called "The Time 100's Biggest Bloopers, OMG" ... oh wait, hold on, Wonkette has just been informed that Time was being serious when it invited Jared.

Our bad.

Say something stupid in reaction to the release of the Mueller Report, J-Kush:

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We swear that John Cornyn is an honest-to-goodness US senator. Yet this is what the Texas Republican (or at least his campaign team) is tweeting while serious people are discussing impeaching the president.

Team Cornyn's tweet quickly found itself a resident of Ratio-ville, where the presiding mayor is Howard Schultz. But why did this crack team of political savants scour Twitter for old-ass tweets from one of the new Mads on "Mystery Science Theater 3000"? Is Patton Oswalt running for Senate? He's certainly more fit for office than Donald Trump. No, apparently, the comedian is just a supporter of a Senate candidate. Democrat MJ Hegar just launched her campaign today to unseat Cornyn in 2020, and Team Cornyn's rapid response was to attack someone who once said nice things about her. Seriously, they have no other connection.

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