Jailbound Proud Boys Leader Idiot Talkin' About The Boys Lickin' Face And Slappin' Ass, Isn't That 'Magical'?

It's a very serious terrorist group.

Enrique Tarrio, the leader of the Proud Boys loser terrorist gang, had to report to prison on Monday for a five-month sentence. The Minneapolis Star Tribune reminds us that Tarrio was convicted for "burning a Black Lives Matter banner that was torn down from a historic Black church in downtown Washington and bringing two high-capacity firearm magazines into the nation's capital days shortly before the Jan. 6 riot."

Tarrio, of course, pulled all kinds of shit just before his sentence started. The Daily Beast reports that he pulled a Hail Mary in court this weekend, whining that the judge was BIASSSSS because the judge's daughter was baptized at that church. On Monday, he posed for some pictures that made it look like he was setting the US Capitol on fire. Such a charming fellow.

He also gave an interview to Vice, because Vice knows what America needs, and it's human interest interviews with the Proud Boys. The interview is mostly about how Tarrio hasn't learned his lesson, and Tarrio is going to read (and produce!) more hate literature in jail, and Tarrio is going to keep Proud Boy-ing. But he delivered this quote to Vice, and we think it's helpful for highlighting what ridiculous human beings America is up against these days.

Tarrio was discussing resolving internal conflicts inside the Proud Boys organization, and he said this:

Over the years, Tarrio said, he's resolved conflicts or simmering beefs between chapters by having them fight it out. "At our national event, every year, we put a boxing ring together, or I rent an octagon, the guys put gloves on, and they just fucking go ham on each other," he said. But sometimes, he added, "they don't even want to fight. They get drunk, they slap each other's asses, they kiss each other on the fucking cheek, lick each other in the fucking face, you know? And I'm like, you guys were just fucking calling each other the most stupidest thing just a month ago." Tarrio appeared to cherish these moments, describing them as "pretty magical."

Enrique Tarrio tries to make 'em fight, he puts 'em in the ring together, he tries to smash 'em together like G.I. Joes, but sometimes they don't even want to smash together like G.I. Joes, sometimes they just want to lick face and grab ass, and it's "pretty magical" if you ask him.

Please remember that the Proud Boys' theme song — yes, the theme song for this actual terrorist group — is a song that was cut from the movie version of Aladdin , but made its way into the Broadway version.

So that's what we wanted you to do know about this otherwise very dumb interview with Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio, who is currently in prison.

Been on vacation the past few weeks, anything happen while we were away? Haha, shut up, we already know all of it.

[ Vice ]

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