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It's his big day!


Well, well, well, the House Intelligence Committee's little funtimes playdate with FBI Director James Comey and NSA Director Admiral Mike Rogers has gotten underway, and we have a few updates for you! For one thing, Comey was finally able to confirm, FOR OFFICIAL, that there is an ongoing investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 election to help elect Pussgrab Trump, and that there is an investigation into possible collusion between Trump and said Russians. And the choir said, "AMEN, NO SHIT, BRO!" But this is the first official confirmation, and Comey gave it.

Let that sink in: The PRESIDENT is UNDER INVESTIGATION like a common RUSSIAN SPY VERSION OF RICHARD NIXON.

Another big piece of news is that Comey walked up to the raging dumpster fire that is Trump's bullshit claim that he was the victim of a "wire tapp" from Obama, unzipped his trousers, and whizzed all over it:

 

With respect to the president’s tweets about alleged wiretapping directed at him by the prior administration, I have no information that supports those tweets, and we have looked carefully inside the FBI. The Department of Justice has asked me to share with you that the answer is the same for the Department of Justice and all its components, the department has no information that supports those tweets.

Let that sink in: The PRESIDENT is a LIAR and A FUCKING IDIOT. Comey, of course, foreshadowed this the weekend of Trump's wiretapping tweets, when he asked the Justice Department to please call bullshit on Trump.

Or as Samantha Bee put it, on Twitter:

The hearing so far has also made clear that Republicans would like to put people who leak mean things to the press about Fuehrer Trump IN JAIL, and Democrats would like to have an adult conversation about the actual investigation.

Benghazi GOP congressidiot Trey Gowdy has been naming random names of Obama administration officials and doing his weasel-y best to insinuate that they're feloniously leaking contacts between people like poor, disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn and the Russian ambassador. Trey Gowdy does not like leaking classified info one bit, except for when he "accidentally" leaks the name of a CIA operative during a Hillary Clinton investigation. That's different.

House Intelligence Committee Chair and tattered windsock Devin Nunes has contributed a whole lot to the hearing, asking whether any votes were changed in the swing states, whether the Russians ALWAYS vote for Republicans (LOL), and begging Comey to please investigate whether or not HILLARY colluded with the Russians. It's weird how he would bring that up ...

So in case you've been curious how far inside the Republicans' mouth Donald Trump's dick is, the answer is "two or three inches, but Trump would insist it was six."

Oh, and here is another fun thing that happened! Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff, the ranking member on the House Intelligence Committee, asked Comey about all the reports that crazy-ass Trump stooge Roger Stone had contacts with Guccifer 2.0, the Russian-backed hacker who Watergate-d the DNC, and also how Stone bragged about it. Comey wasn't sayin' NOTHIN', besides how he may have heard the name Roger Stone somewhere and SHHHHHHH! He wouldn't comment either way about whether Stone's contacts are under investigation, whether Stone himself is under investigation, or anything else. Veteran intelligence analyst John Schindler took note on Twitter:

Boom!

As Democrats interrogate Comey, they are basically reading facts into the historical record about what we know about Trump associates' collusion with Russia. In response, Comey is saying "NO COMMENT" every five seconds, which means we're not getting much new information. As Benjamin Wittes at the Lawfare blog explains, this is probably a very good thing. In Wittes's preview of the Comey hearings, styled as a guide for how to watch them, he noted that the more tight-lipped Comey is, the worse things likely are for Trump. Describing a scenario where the FBI has a shitload on Trump's collusion with Russia, Wittes explains how he would expect Comey to act:

In this situation, I would expect him to be minimally verbal. He may have to answer yes or no questions in certain instances, including about the truth of the wiretapping allegations, but he will refuse to answer a lot of questions. He will make as little news as humanly possible. He will be exceptionally spare with his opinions. He will make a point of not antagonizing the President. Lots of people will leave disappointed.

Yep, that's where we are!

So, to sum up: the hearing is still going on, Republicans look like dumbass babies, Democrats are asking really good questions, none of which Comey and Rogers are allowed to answer, and hopefully once this is all over, Donald Trump and everybody he has ever met are going to jail. We'll update you later, when more things happen!

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[Lawfare]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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