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Out of control.


Time for an update on the FBI's complete loss of credibility as an independent American law enforcement agency! We talked Wednesday about how FBI Director James Comey seems to have lost ALL control of the institution he's supposed to be running, as agents in the New York office were pursuing a dead-end investigation into the Clinton Foundation, even though their higher ups in the FBI and the Justice Department were like "Can it, fools," because there was nothing to pursue. We talked about how this rogue investigation started because a bunch of agents had a weekly book club circle jerk (allegedly) reading Peter Schweizer's Clinton Cash, a bullshit, right-wing, WorldNetDaily-grade hit piece on the Clinton Foundation that was highly debunked before it was even published. Oh, and it was also funded by Stephen Bannon, the guy who took a rumspringa from being CEO of Breitbart to see if it would be more fun to run Donald Trump's campaign. Schweizer even runs a shady nonprofit for Bannon! For real! These goons are being used as "sources" by the FBI! No shit! America fuck yeah!

The Wall Street Journal now has some new details on that bullshit investigation. It seems that the agents with the anti-Clinton hard-ons had heard some recordings of somebody talking about the Clinton Foundation, which absolutely convinced them they had a real case, even though their higher-ups were still saying, "Nope, you idiots." In February, there was a meeting between the Justice Department and the FBI, and it didn't go so great:

The public-integrity prosecutors weren’t impressed with the FBI presentation, people familiar with the discussion said. “The message was, ‘We’re done here,’ ” a person familiar with the matter said.

Justice Department officials became increasingly frustrated that the agents seemed to be disregarding or disobeying their instructions.[...]

Within the FBI, some felt they had moved well beyond the allegations made in the anti-Clinton book. At least two confidential informants from other public-corruption investigations had provided details about the Clinton Foundation to the FBI, these people said.

The FBI had secretly recorded conversations of a suspect in a public-corruption case talking about alleged deals the Clintons made, these people said. The agents listening to the recordings couldn’t tell from the conversations if what the suspect was describing was accurate, but it was, they thought, worth checking out.

Prosecutors thought the talk was hearsay and a weak basis to warrant aggressive tactics, like presenting evidence to a grand jury, because the person who was secretly recorded wasn’t inside the Clinton Foundation.

LOL was it even a real suspect, or just some idiot they found on the street muttering angry talk about the Clinton Foundation? Was it Ken Starr? Newt Gingrich? One of them fancy crystal skulls start talking and saying it was Vince Foster's ghost?

But the agents had also interviewed the Clinton Cash author a bunch of times! And they may or may not have even asked that author to sign their buttocks and their lucky baseballs, also too! They can investigate the Clintons a whole bunch more, please?

But the answer from the top kept coming back, "SERIOUSLY STOP LISTENING TO ALEX JONES AND DO YOUR ACTUAL FBI WORK, PLEASE." In fact, by August, there was a call between Justice and FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, where Justice again said, "DID WE FUCKING STUTTER?" and McCabe was like "No, but they're still going to keep doing the investigation because the FBI isn't an American agency anymore, we're the Breitbart comments section," and Justice was like, "Breitbart should not allow comments!" Or something like that:

The conversation was a tense one, they said, and at one point Mr. McCabe asked, “Are you telling me that I need to shut down a validly predicated investigation?’’ The senior Justice Department official replied: "Of course not.”

So! This is all very fun, and James Comey's FBI has decided the Justice Department is not its real dad, even though, #GovernmentFact, Justice is actually, for real, the FBI's real dad.

But was that the only rogue FBI leak last night? Heck nope! These fuckers are leaking like Donald Trump at the Miss Universe pageant, throwing all the shit at the wall they possibly can, in what appears to be an insane Hail Mary to prevent Hillary Clinton from winning the presidential election.

Crooks & Liars points us to two other things that happened on Fox News, involving alleged REAL LEGITIMATE LEAKS that are probably DEFINITELY TOTALLY TRUE. First, we have Lou Dobbs saying the FBI is "99% sure that as many as five foreign intelligence agencies were able to hack into the Clinton email server and did put national security in jeopardy, according to FBI sources." WHOA IF TRUE! This preliminary look at some bullroar from Anthony Weiner's laptop told the FBI all that and some dudes whispered into Lou Dobbs's pants about it? YOU BET!

What, did they finally catch Huma Abedin BCC-ing the nuclear codes to the Muslim Brotherhood? Is that what it was?

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/603829/comey-hearings-just-a-bunch-of-house-republicans-stepping-on-own-dicks-again"></a>[/wonkbar]So weird, since James Comey said at the conclusion of the BIG, HUGE, LONG investigation into Hillary's emails that there was no "direct evidence" of such hacking. Guess everything's different now, a week out from the election when it REALLY MATTERS.

Next, we have Fox News's Bret Baier having a giddy jizz-fit because "FBI sources" say the Clinton Foundation investigation is WAY BIGGER than anybody knew, that Hillz is definitely going to get indicted for "emails" this time, and this is just so 'sciting!

We're guessing the floors of Fox News were more slippery last night than they've been on any given day since Roger Ailes last left the building.

Crooks & Liars notes common threads in all these stories: They are all politically motivated FBI leaks, right before an election! And also too, they all leaked to media properties owned by Rupert Murdoch, gosh how weird is that? We don't want to be all conspiracy-crazy (except for when we're spitballing about how Melania Trump might be a super spy who's been cultivating Donald Trump as her idiot asset for over a decade, in which case we don't mind), we're just saying it's interesting!

The shorter version of this post is that all these motherfuckers need to GO TO JAIL.

[Wall Street Journal / Crooks & Liars]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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