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Jan Brewer Is Closely Watching the Rectums of Illegal Immigrants

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We have a new candidate forAmerica's Next Top Mexican Sociophysiologist. America's Governor, Jan Brewer of Arizona, said today that a "majority of the illegal trespassers that are coming into the state of Arizona" are drug mules. "There's strong information to us that they come as illegal people wanting to come to work. Then they are accosted and they become subjects of the drug cartel," Brewer said, having a lot of experience with this rectal stuff. Things are getting very hard for Mexicans. Soon they will not be able to dig into the United States, their only method of crossing the border, because there will be an underground electric fence. But also all of them are constantly getting drugs stuck up their butts?


Mexicans should try covering their asses, because this is a serious problem. Can't they just poop out the drugs, you ask? Heh, you sure have lived a sheltered life, haven't you? Drugs, once stuck up your ass, turn your brain into a DRUG BRAIN. All you can think about is getting the drugs in your ass to the drug unloading site and getting your ass reloaded again in Mexico. You stop thinking about getting a job ever again. That's why it's a totally valid and funny joke when conservatives say Messicans are lazy.

THIS is why Jan Brewer and Arizona have passed their immigration law. They just care so, so much about Mexicans' sore rectums and want to do ANYTHING they can do to help soothe those asses. [AP]

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A federal court has thrown out Kansas's awful voter registration law, finding that it violated federal law by imposing unnecessary limits on the rights of people to register to vote. US District Judge Julie Robinson said Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach had failed to prove the state has any significant problem with non-citizen voting, and that there was simply no reason for the state to require people to show documents to prove they're citizens in order to register to vote. Further, because Kobach had so frequently shit the bed during the March trial, Robinson ordered him to take six hours of continuing legal education on trial procedure so he won't fill any more judges' courtrooms with poop ever again. (He will still fill more judges' courtrooms with poop.)

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