Jared And Vanky Need Some 'ME TIME', Can't Help Daddy Plot Right Now
Let all subjects be advised: Princess Goya von Nepotism will not be speaking about politics today. According to CNN, Ivanka Trump is "so over the political bubble she has told friends and colleagues of late to not utter anything to do with Washington." Not a word!
Four years of playing dress-up as a Very Serious DC Professional Person has taken its toll, and now she's going back to being the feckless heiress she always was. As has Jared, the Boy Wonder, who would prefer not to be associated with the Fat Elvis stage of his father-in-law's decline.
"Right now, he's just checked out of politics," a friend said of Kushner, who recently packed up his family and moved to Miami.
Trump is currently holed up at Mar-a-Lago plotting his own '68 Comeback Tour with what remains of his motley crew, but Kushner has had a lifetime's worth of breathing in Brad Parscale's beer farts and watching Jason Miller spritz Binaca in his face every time he sees Hope Hicks coming.
Even so, Kushner's pals are shocked to see the recent Tech Guru/Opiate Czar/Middle East Envoy/Trade Deal Negotiator/Chief MBAsplainer on the White House COVID Task Force just cut himself off from politics completely.
"That's about as 180 a turn as he could ever make," a source who worked inside the Trump White House with Kushner told CNN. "This was a guy who for four years did everything on behalf of President Trump. He lived that job."
But maybe Jared's sabbatical is actually an exile because he's been banished from the Royal Presence. Two sources told CNN that Kushner and Trump's relationship has been "fractured" since November, with the old man blaming his son-in-law for the election loss.
"We know the boss isn't going to blame himself," one said. But he will take credit for Republican House pickups and Mitch McConnell's come from behind victory in ... Kentucky.
Kushner hasn't shaken DC off entirely, though. Old habits — and delusions! — die hard, and the young prince still fancies himself a GOP power broker.
"He is trying to be someone you would go to on the Republican side to put a deal together," a source told CNN. Through gales of laughter, we assume.
But Kush won't be able to quit the old fool forever. Particularly if reports in Bloomberg that Trump is considering a Pence-free run in 2024 are true. Having sewn up the evangelicals, the geezer will be trading in Pence for someone who checks a few more boxes: "Trump's advisers have discussed identifying a Black or female running mate for his next run, and three of the people familiar with the matter said Pence likely won't be on the ticket."
Ooooooh, a lady! Well, Princess may have no presidential qualifications, but she does have aspirations! So perhaps she'll be back at Daddy's side, with an official residence in a state other than Florida, by 2022.
If not, she and Jared can always retreat back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever keeps those two crazy kids together. Let Bill Stepien and Dan Scavino clean up the mess — isn't that what the help is for?
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.