Jay Inslee Humiliates Meghan McCain On 'The View' So He's Officially President Now
Washington Gov. Jay Inslee is running for president and his primary focus is fighting climate change. We are just a generation away from desperate scientists strapping their kids in rocket ships and sending them off to to be superheroes in disappointing movies. However, conservatives still act like it's 2000 and Al Gore is whining about trees. Why should they care about any of this?
Inslee appeared on "The View" Monday where he was grilled by resident Republicans Abby Huntsman and Meghan McCain. It was a tag-team concern trolling effort. Huntsman reminded Inslee that he doesn't just have to beat the dozen or so other Democrats and Bernie Sanders in the race but also eventually Donald Trump. We're pretty sure at least one of Inslee's advisers mentioned this to him. Huntsman wondered how Inslee hoped to defeat Trump with such a weak sauce platform as defending humanity from global catastrophe.
HUNTSMAN: "You saw [Trump] at CPAC. Whether you agree with him or not, he knows how to get people riled up. He gets headlines. He gets attention. The media's always talking about him. Climate change? That's not the number one issue for many, many people in this country."
Huntsman talks about Trump like Principal Rooney's secretary describing Ferris Bueller: "He's very popular, Jay. White nationalists, conspiracy theorists, wasteoids ... they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude." She straight-up tells Inslee he's just too dull to beat Trump. Why would the media bother covering him and his boring "real" issues when they could devote air time to Trump's rambling, deranged declarations of fake national emergencies?
polls have shown that while most voters think climate change is happening, it's not a major priority for them. This is weird. If you're aware that you're on fire, you would probably prioritize putting it out. Maybe this is why we need a grown-up president who would, you know, lead on this vital issue and stress to Americans the importance of taking action right now.
Trump literally ran in the opposite direction on immigration than his Republican primary opponents. Fighting "illegal immigration" was also not a top priority for Democrats or many Republicans when Trump entered the race. He pushed it to the forefront and forced candidates to address it. We think that worked out for him. But Republicans never believe Democrats should lead but instead should be led by whatever they claim Americans think is important.
INSLEE: Climate change is an economic growth engine. It is an ability to grow jobs. Today, clean energy jobs in the United States are growing twice as fast as the rest of the US economy.
Next up was Meghan McCain, the noted hypocrite and hack. She went after Inslee with bargain-basement rightwing talking points about the Green New Deal.
MCCAIN: Maybe I am just a unicorn from another planet.
This is alien unicorn libel.
MCCAIN: Climate change doesn't even hit my top 30 of how I vote for somebody.
How shallow is this woman? We know preventing imaginary "infanticide" is important to her, but a real, non make-believe problem can't even crack her top 10?
MCCAIN: So I do think I am on this panel to say this isn't what's selling me on you beating Trump, and I say that with respect.
McCain and her Federalist publisher spouse are both voting for Trump -- the man who's still talking shit about her beloved dead war hero father. It's not worth anyone's time to try to "sell" her on beating him. If removing a Russian asset isn't sufficient motivation, we don't know what is. We're tired of Republicans telling us that they'd love to vote out the mob kingpin and all Democrats need to do to get them on board is basically nominate Nikki Haley.
MCCAIN: What's also not selling me on beating Trump is the Green New Deal, which all of the 2020 contenders have endorsed. It would cost $93 trillion or to every person in this room, $600,000 per each of your households.
Look at the heiress pinching pennies! Republicans love to throw out big figures to terrify voters but only about programs they don't like, never about our bloated defense budget. McCain goes so far as to imply that some random Iowa household will have to personally come up with $600,000 to fund Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's tofu farms.
MCCAIN: Do you think that plan is practical or have you endorsed it or do you have another option? Because when I hear that the average American is going to have to spend $600,000 for a New Green Deal you can understand how people like me don't think that's logical.
Inslee smiled and politely put out McCain's flaming garbage fire of lies.
INSLEE: Well, this is a lot like the death panels you heard about in Obamacare. We don't have death panels and we don't have $600,000 costs.
McCain kept digging with more debunked gibberish.
MCCAIN: We're talking about $51 trillion, the elimination of planes, the elimination of cows, a railway, no planes, I guess nobody can go to Hawaii anymore. It doesn't sound rational to me.
INSLEE: It doesn't sound rational because those are the things that Donald Trump said. We are not going to eliminate cars. We are not going to eliminate trains. We're going to have what I have in my driveway today which is a blue GM Bolt made in Michigan with American workers.
OMG, we didn't even really know who Inslee was before today and he's our governor, but this answer is like something from the "West Wing." He's got Aaron Sorkin dialogue and McCain just has some cocktail napkins with QAnon scribbles on them.
The audience went wild for Inslee and McCain returned to her native planet where all the unicorns are obnoxious.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).