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LOL you guys just misunderestimated what he was saying!


Jeb Bush is still having a hard time figuring out a good name to call the Bad Brown Americans, and he still doesn't understand why he's not supposed to say "anchor baby." Even though he clearly asked the media to please give him some good ideas for what to call the browns, but they're no help. His Messican wife Columba, one of the Good Brown Americans, probably isn't any help either, because she knows when her husband says racism against her people, it's just business, it's not personal.

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Except EXCUSE US, that is totally wrong. Jeb! explained in McAllen, Texas, on Monday that when he says "anchor baby," he's not even talking about the Columba kind of browns, but rather more like the Bobby Jindal slash Memoirs Of A Geisha kind of browns:

As I said in Spanish, my background, my life, the fact that I'm immersed in the immigrant experience ...

Because Jeb Bush is a Spanish too, didn't you know?

This is ludicrous for the Clinton campaign and others to suggest that somehow I'm using a derogatory term. What I was talking about was the specific case of fraud being committed, where there's organized efforts, and frankly, it's more related to Asian people coming into our country, having children, in that organized efforts, taking advantage of a noble concept with this birthright citizenship. I support the 14th Amendment.

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Yeah, it's those Asians! You know how they do. They move to America legally, they have babies with names like "Piyush" or "Bobby As In Brady," and before you know it, their kids are shucking off the deities of their homelands in favor of good old-fashioned American Freedom Jesus, becoming governor of Louisiana and, as if that's not enough of an outrage, they end up running for president, with poll numbers somewhere between zero and LOL percent.

And this is just another example of Jeb Bush being pitiful and sad. He's getting beaten by Donald Fucking Trump, but instead of fighting back, he decides to punch way down at Bobby Jindal (maybe, if that's what he's even doing), who has less of a chance of winning the Republican nomination than our cat does, which is remarkable BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A CAT.

And poor Bobby Jindal! He's so sad in his own right that he's saying, "Please, America! If you let me be president, I will say ALL THE RACISMS to the browns, I will say them in the mirror at my own self if I have to!" Sheesh.

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Anyway, this concludes your latest installment of Jeb Bush Is Pathetic And Sad And Will Never Be President Because He Already Lost, like we said. What will he fail at next? WHO KNOWS? We'll all have to wait and find out together, probably like 10 minutes from now.

[h/t @evale72 & @thefanger]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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