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Jefferson Pleads Rich to Charges of Bribery

William Jefferson, America's Congressman, pleaded not guilty today to charges of being really, really lousy at covering up his racketeering, bribery, and money-laundering/freezing. As proof that he was 100% innocent, he pointed out that his children and grandchildren were all very bright.


Wearing a dark suit, light blue dress shirt and red tie, Jefferson spoke in a low but urgent voice about his wife, five daughters and three grandchildren, detailing their Ivy League degrees, their patriotism and their commitment to both church and public service.

Because no one who went to Harvard Law would ever commit white collar crime!

In defense of Jefferson, he is working tirelessly to refute the stereotype that black people are naturally criminal. No, it's obvious only poor people would do such things.

Jefferson Pleads Not Guilty to Bribery [WP]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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