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Audio surfaced this weekend of rightly disgraced comedian Louis C.K. performing a set at a Levittown, New York, club on December 16. The timing was unfortunate because C.K.'s career just missed inclusion on all the 2018 celebrity deaths lists.

After finally admitting, against his will, to repeatedly masturbating in front of women comics against their will, C.K. promised to "now step back and take a long time to listen." It was like the intro to a sex offender version of "The Real World." It seems he's spent that year listening to right-wing media and stewing in his own bile. His December act was repulsive and cruel. It's not the product of self-reflection but incensed rage that he has been held mildly accountable for his actions.


Where do you start with such garbage? How about where he implicitly blames women -- you know, the people he victimized -- for the PC culture that he doubtless believes led to his downfall. In the minds of men like C.K., it is always nagging women, or emasculated men, telling them what they can or can't say.

"I was kind of excited to be in my 50s and see people in their 20s and be like, 'You're crazy! these kids are nuts,' but they're not! They're fuckin' like 'Nyeaah.' They're just boring. Fuckin' tellin' ,' You shouldn't say that.' What are you? An old lady? What the fuck are you doing? 'Nyeeah, that's not appropriate.' Fuck you. you're a child.' "

I dunno. I think if you're a grown man who's "confused" about the appropriateness of masturbating in front of women in a professional setting, you probably should consider listening to children. They are clearly smarter than you. It really bothers C.K. that he's well into mid-life and the best he's accomplished are some records in long-distance semen propulsion. He takes aim at overall better humans like the survivors of the Parkland school shooting. It hasn't been a year yet since a deranged gunman killed their classmates in front of them but that doesn't stop C.K. from putting them in their place.

"You're not interesting because you went to a high school where kids got shot. Why does that mean I have to listen to you? How does that make you interesting? You didn't get shot, you pushed some fat kid in the way!"

I believe young people who respond to tragedy with resilience and determination to make things better for others are inherently more interesting than the writer/director of Pootie Tang. As Jay Smooth would say, C.K. is just being "wrong on purpose." He's a needy little boy trying to get attention, but he's not dropping his pants in the middle of class. No, he's callously attempting to monetize the suffering and struggles of others.

C.K. doesn't drop the mic after mocking children. He has more cruelty to spread. He goes after marginalized people who have the audacity to believe they deserve respect.

"They tell you what to call them – 'You should address me as they, them, because I identify as gender neutral.' Oh okay, okay. 'You should address me as there, because I identify as a location, and the location is your mother's cunt.'"

This is truly lazy-ass comedy from a Peabody Award winner (we should probably take that from him). It's also unreasonably contemptuous of a relatively small ask from fellow travelers on the earth. Non-binary people have no problem addressing someone born Louis Székely as Louis C.K., so only an asshole would object to using a person's preferred pronouns. Probably the same asshole who defends referring to other human beings as "retarded" because those human beings won't know the difference. This is really something he said. It's no more a comedy routine than punching someone in the face is performance art.

He also gifts us with more of his hipster racism. I've never understood why I'm supposed to appreciate racist jokes as somehow trenchant and brilliant because the comedian went to Harvard and doesn't wear a white hood (that we know of). I don't know why this form of bullying became synonymous with "art" or why anyone thinks it's brave to mock the suffering or struggles of others, suffering and struggling that they'll never share.

My life is over. I don't give a shit. You can, you can be offended, it's OK. You can get mad at me. Anyway. So why do black guys have big dicks? Let's talk about that for a minute.

Oh boo hoo! Those awful women ruined your life, so now you have nothing to lose by being a racist creep. He should also lose his Emmys. You can hear this crap at a bowling alley.

You know why Asian guys have small dicks? Cause they're women. They're not dudes. They're all women. All Asians are women. And they have big clits, and when they have sex they just stick their clits in each other's pussies and they procreate using math.

No, that was real, he really said it.

C.K's current "work" lacks artistry. It's just abusive. He's raging at a world he doesn't understand like some sick animal incapable of empathy. When I say that he shouldn't work again, only an idiot would think I'm promoting censorship.

Censorship has a specific meaning, Mr. Axelrod. You can't ignore a term's meaning just by putting "de facto" before it. I can't go around calling myself the "De Facto Idris Elba." Saying something is stupid and not worth your time isn't censorship. Siskel and Ebert weren't burning books. Criticism is literally free speech and how the market decides. It's the public service that informs you that Holmes and Watson is garbage and Aquaman features a topless, wet Jason Momoa.

Maybe Axelrod wasn't really the brilliant Josh Lyman of the Obama campaign. The actual Josh Lyman though agrees that C.K. is repulsive and gross.

A colleague who runs an arts organization in Portland describes theater as an "empathy" exercise. That's what true art in all its forms achieves. C.K.'s act does none of that. It doesn't ask us to think or feel, just to laugh at everyone different from us. He's no better than Donald Trump, who mocks sexual assault victims and insults the appearance of women at his hate rallies.

C.K. has a lot of new fans on social media, the same people who enjoy Rush Limbaugh, Ben Shapiro, Ann Coulter, and actual nazis. At this rate, his next gig will be hosting the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Trump will definitely show up for that one.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Welcome to another edition of Yr Sunday Nice Things feature, where we take a break from the daily craziness so we can decompress for a little while. Today, we're going to relax with the ineffable mental calm that comes from an oddly rectangular English cow. It's really beautiful to see what can happen when people all over the internet come together to collaborate on a little art project. We call it...

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