Jerry Falwell Jr. HEREBY DEMANDS That Liberty University QUIT KINK-SHAMING HIM!
In 2019, Liberty University sent its then president Jerry Falwell Jr. to rehab for alcohol abuse at the request of his wife, Becki. It's not clear if Our Jerry managed to get his alleged drinking in check, although the school did fire him shortly thereafter. But whatever the case, the man is clearly still high on his own supply. To (half) wit: the colossally self-destructive litigation strategy Falwell has deployed over the past year in the trench war with his former employer.
In October, he filed a wrongful termination and defamation suit against the school, laying out the whole sordid saga of his wife's affair with former pool boy Giancarlo Granda and accusing the school of cahootsing with the Lincoln Project to do him in. In Falwell's telling, he was to be pitied because he'd spent years being blackmailed, living in fear that his wife's lover would spill the beans and destroy his career.
In December, he unsuited, which is Virginia lawtalk for a voluntary dismissal. And that will never not be funny!
But pulling out early didn't make Jerry a virgin, and he could hardly deny all the factual claims he'd already made. Which was unfortunate, since those claims formed the basis of Liberty's suit against him in April for breach of contract and fiduciary duty. Doh!
According to Liberty, Falwell negotiated in bad faith for a $2.5 million severance package and a one-time salary bump to $1.25 million, agreeing to a 10-year level compensation because he knew the shit was about to hit the fan with the poolboy and he was going to get fired. Remember, he's already admitted he'd spent years with the sword of
Damocles Giancarlo hanging over his head, so he can hardly deny it now. Whether that amounts to a cognizable claim under Virginia contract and fiduciary law is beyond the ken of this little recipeblog — but we can safely state that it's not a good look.
Then last week he filed this batshit reply to Liberty alleging that it had committed "protected defamation of Falwell through litigation" and gone to "great lengths to defame and diminish Falwell's reputation with allegations that have nothing whatsoever to do with its claims." Because failing to live up to a Christian school's morals clause has nothing to do with his continued employment, Jerry insists, just before reminding the court that "Since Liberty's founding in 1971, Liberty and the Falwell name have been synonymous, and continue to be."
Let us pause to contemplate the balls on this guy, complaining that his personal life has nothing to do with his fitness to lead a religious institution that punishes students for such moral failures as premarital sex, homosexuality, and drinking a beer.
Quick, someone Google whether Virginia criminal code penalizes murdering irony! And then Google "litigation privilege," because apparently there are some lawyers who fail to understand that you can't defame someone in a court document because that's not how this works, that's not how any of this works.
The point is, Jerry is BIG MAD that Liberty is kink-shaming him. Well, not him exactly, because, as Husband of the Year reminds the court every third paragraph or so, it was his hussy wife who had the affair, not him. Falwell conveniently omits to mention his various other indiscretions which might have caused Liberty's board to fire him, including partying at a nightclub, posting pictures of his crotch on Instagram, doing pelvic thrusts into a barbell with two young women standing on it, passing around boudoir photos of his wife and blabbing about their sex life, and all his interesting financial arrangements. Plus the alleged alcohol problem.
Nope, according to Jerry, he got the axe solely because of his wife's affair.
"Liberty's 'Granda Plan' is solely to continue its efforts of discrediting and publicly humiliating Falwell because of his wife's affair," he whines.
BOO FREAKING HOO.
And speaking of Granda, look who's wishing a pox on both their houses.
Imagine how much shame and guilt victims of sexual assault at @LibertyU felt when Jerry Falwell Jr. and the Board s… https://t.co/o7ej5jkyOh— Giancarlo Granda (@Giancarlo Granda) 1623120806.0
HUH. Well, that would be terribly shocking.
Uh oh, now Your Wonkette is going to get LOCK HER UPPED for doing murders to irony.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.