Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. JERRY!
When Liz wrote this morning about the Jerry Falwell XXX Boner Hour story that dropped last night -- you know, the fawning article where Falwell "confessed" that his wife had a very brief five-minute affair with the pool boy but it's all over, and he is just really DEPRESSED now -- she said it was pretty clear a new, even grosser story was about to drop.
Here it is! And surprise, it was exactly as we guessed it was this entire time: some real cuck stuff. Because of how it's always projection with these people. Oh, and also hypocrisy, just hot, wet hypocrisy:
Giancarlo Granda says he was 20 when he met Jerry and Becki Falwell while working as a pool attendant at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach hotel in March 2012. Starting that month and continuing into 2018, Granda told Reuters that the relationship involved him having sex with Becki Falwell while Jerry Falwell looked on.
He was twenty. For six years, according to Granda, he would do sexxx boners with Jerry Falwell's wife while Jerry watched and we imagine played with Little Jerry. Which would be FINE, if we weren't talking about one of the most prominent conservative evangelical "Handmaid's Tale"-style power couples, who have used their position and influence to hurt actual women and LGBTQ people and try to control their sex lives and their freedom.
GO ON, REUTERS:
Granda showed Reuters emails, text messages and other evidence that he says demonstrate the sexual nature of his relationship with the couple, who have been married since 1987. "Becki and I developed an intimate relationship and Jerry enjoyed watching from the corner of the room," Granda said in an interview. Now 29, he described the liaisons as frequent – "multiple times per year" – and said the encounters took place at hotels in Miami and New York, and at the Falwells' home in Virginia.
Oh yes, Granda showed Reuters lots of evidence, sounds like. Like this evidence:
The material Granda showed Reuters includes screenshots from what Granda said was a FaceTime conversation he had with the Falwells in 2019. During that call, Granda said, Becki was naked as the two discussed their relationship while Jerry peeked from behind a door. Reuters was able to verify Granda's description of the screenshots.
Reuters means that Reuters could see Nakey Becki and (maybe) Nakey Jerry peeking in the door with his weenus in his hand. At least we think that is what Reuters is trying to say, while Reuters is bleaching its eyeballs.
Granda also shared an audio recording that he says captures a conversation he had with the Falwells in 2018. In it, Becky complained about Granda describing his relationships with other people: "He's like telling me every time he hooks up with people. Like I don't have feelings or something." Jerry then chimed in: "You're going to make her jealous." "I'm not trying to do that," Granda replied.
Who among us does not get mad when the young stallion fucking our wife acts very insensitively, by constantly sharing that he also fucks other people we're not married to? Isn't there something in Liberty University's honor code about this type of situation?
Earlier texts show a friendly and romantic dynamic between Granda and Becki Falwell. One 2012 text message, which Granda said came from Becki, read in part: "Right now I am just missing you like crazy .... Have you had this effect on all of your lady friends?"
This is all so fucking gross.
As Wonkette reminded y'all this morning, Granda is the young buck the Falwells met, made friends with, and got so close with that they went in with him financially on a gay-friendly South Beach flophouse. Well, apparently some other things were a-flopping, while Jerry watched, if you know what we mean, allegedly! (Talkin' about the young buck's peen.)
Falwell denies all this, which is probably legit, and we shouldn't take into consideration how he ran to a friendly idiot "reporter" at the Washington Examiner this weekend to try to get in front of this story. Meanwhile, Granda says all Falwell's whining about a "Fatal Attraction type" blackmail extortion situation is horseshit. Who to believe, who to believe! (We believe the pool boy.)
Granda also says the Falwells preyed on him, like common predators:
"Whether it was immaturity, naïveté, instability, or a combination thereof, it was this 'mindset' that the Falwells likely detected in deciding that I was the ideal target for their sexual escapades," Granda said.
Hear ye, conservative Christian gay-hatin' woman-hatin' bigots of America! This is the guy who, until his recent leave of absence, was the boss of your (also 20-year-old) kids at Liberty. We are just saying.
We do not think Jerry is going to be going back to Liberty. Conservative evangelical wingnuts love a redemption story, but they do tend to prefer that you at least PUT YOUR COCK AWAY before you share with the congregation how Jesus delivered you from evil. (Allegedly!)
As we alluded to above, in a perfect world, we would not care about Jerry and Becki Falwell's sex life. If Jerry gets a thrill up his leg watching his wife get freaky with a consenting legal adult young man, then that would be their business.
But seeing as Jerry Falwell is one of the original boosters and enablers of the fascist in the White House and the organization his dead daddy built, which he has continued and run into the ground, has hurt countless LGBTQ people and women, well, you know, fuck 'em. While Jerry watches. Allegedly!
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