Jesse Watters Says Dems Will Stop Doing Thing Jesse Watters Says Dems Do When They Hear This

Jesse Watters, bless his heart. He so badly wants to be Tucker Carlson, but he just doesn't have what it takes.

Fresh off lightly suggesting that maybe Joe Biden had given the order for that guy to go to Brett Kavanaugh's house to kill him, have second thoughts, call the cops on himself and say he was suicidal, and then not kill Brett Kavanaugh, Jesse Watters had a new theory: that Democrats might stop flying illegal immigrants in by the planeload if they find out how many of these Hispanics are voting Republican!




"They may have to stop flying all these illegals into the country because if you look at the latest polls, I know Dana has, Mexicans and Mexican-Americans are voting for Republicans at a record clip. [...] Once they find out how they are going to vote, they may actually build the wall!"

Now look, we must admit that we had no idea what lie the hosts of "The Five" were telling their stupid pig viewers about Democrats flying illegal immigrants into America. Hypothesis: This is one of those things that only exists in the wet bowels of the Fox universe. Let's test that hypothesis!

They had footage of planes at the Westchester County airport outside New York, so we googled "immigrant flights" and "Westchester airport," and you will be shocked to find out all the results came from Fox News. That would suggest Fox News in particular is hate-jerking itself off about whatever the fuck. Upon further inspection, it would appear a New York GOP gubernatorial candidate named Rob Astorino has been making claims about the Biden administration doing SEEKRUT FLIGHTS of illegal immigrants to that airport, and that it's been going on for months.

And surprise, Fox News — because they're racist trash! — is just running with it. (And also the Murdoch-owned New York Post.)

So that hypothesis took a long time to prove and now we are very tired, from all the science-doing.

Is there a story of some kind here? Sure, but it won't satisfy you if your pleasure-pain orgasm buttons only get triggered by fear, bigotry, and Jesse Watters's sweet, sweet lies. Washington Post fact-checker Glenn Kessler went down the rabbithole to figure it out. Read it if you'd like. It's mostly unaccompanied minors being flown to unite with relatives or sponsors.

But back to poor Jesse's claim. He says "The Democrats" may have to "stop flying all these illegals into the country" because woo boy howdy have you seen how much the Mexicans love Republicans now? They sure do! Maybe now the Democrats will stop doing that Great Replacement conspiracy theory that Tucker says is totally true, the one that motivates all those racist mass killings!

So many delusions here. That Democrats are flying illegal immigrants into the country, that Democrats are doing a Great Replacement. Hell, these morons don't seem to even have a fucking clue exactly which Latinos are voting more for Republicans, or at least did in the last election. (Hint: You can't just look at "Latinos" as a monolithic voting group, only acknowledging differences when you're pointing out that Cubans in Miami vote differently. For instance, if you'd like to know what happened in Texas, click here and learn how Donald Trump did not win "Latinos" or particularly make huge gains there. He won Tejanos.)

But sure, Jesse. When Democrats see the polls, they are going to stop the secret flights some windsock Republican candidate in New York says are totally happening, and they are going to turn into white supremacist garbage that wants to build the wall.

You betcha.

And again, we say bless his heart.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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