Jesus Guy: Trump Still President Because Prophets Can't Be Wrong
When you talk to God, it's called prayer, but when God talks back, you should probably talk to a psychologist — or so they say. This rule does not seem to apply to the apparent 87,000 people out there making a living as Christian prophets. Supposedly, these gifted individuals are able to literally beam their souls up to heaven in order to have a chat with God, and then come back down and tell everyone exactly what God said. There can be no room for error, because it is the actual, true, word of God. It's not like "psychics" or "mediums" who get to have hits and misses and continue their con unabated.
According to the Bible, however, if a prophet says something and it doesn't happen, that means the Lord is not speaking to them and everything else they say should be ignored.
When a prophet speaketh in the name of the Lord, if the thing follow not nor come to pass, that is the thing which the Lord hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously; thou shalt not be afraid of him. — Deuteronomy 18:22
As such, America's self-proclaimed prophets have been having a really hard time with the results of last year's presidential election, as they had all predicted that Trump would win in a landslide. But rather than dropping their grift, they're all just claiming that Trump actually did win the election and is on the verge of becoming president again any second now. See? That way, it's not that they're wrong, but that God (like Trump himself) is playing 5D chess.
In fact, that is exactly what self-proclaimed Christian prophet Hank Kunneman said on a "Prophetic Pulse Conference Call" he hosted this week. God, he claimed, is just doing some 5D chess like his good buddy Trump used to do, and making it so everyone can see just how bad Joe Biden is before he reinstalls Trump as president again. God just can't let his enemies know what he's doing. Kunnerman also claimed in the video that Trump got 80 million votes and Joe Biden only got 39 million, and that's why it would be very unfair "if those people didn't have their voices heard."
Kunnerman also insisted that Good Christians must trust that Trump is going to be president again, trust that God is just doing The Art of War to the political Left, and just keep saying it's going to happen because if they don't, people will think the prophets were wrong and the "fake news" was right. And that simply cannot be.
"President Trump won the election," Kunneman asserted. "So, for people to say, 'Well, people prophesied that he'd win,' he did win, and so we had a stolen election."
"President Trump is not going anywhere," Kunneman added. "If you don't like President Trump, that's your problem because he's not done talking, and God's not done with him."
Claiming that there "have been a lot of signs in the month of March" that the alleged voter fraud that supposedly stole the election from Trump will soon be exposed, Kunneman insisted that Christians must remain faithful that he and the other "prophets" were right when they declared that Trump would serve a second term.
"I'm sensing very strongly by the signs that God has given … that we are close to justice and righteousness being established," he said. "What we cannot do is quit, give up, point the finger, and then begin to think, 'Well, you know what? All of this was just a smokescreen.' No, that's what the enemy wants because it's a sad day if all of God's messengers, prophets, intercessors, [and] Christians were somehow wrong and the fake news that we know has been fake news were the voice of truth. I don't think so."
How long are they going to do this? It's been months since the election, months since the inauguration, and they're still claiming that not only did Trump win, but that he will be president again, and they don't mean "after he runs again in 2024." Not just because they want it to happen, but because their jobs are on the line if it doesn't come to pass. Or they would be if their followers actually cared if they were wrong.
But hey! Perhaps being a prophet isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway. All that pressure to actually be right and then the awkwardness of not actually ever being right is bound to get to a person after a while. Perhaps Kunneman and others like him could just put their grifting skills to work in another industry. Like maybe join up with that guy who wants everyone to drink bleach, or the anti-vaxx crowd, or some other scammy group where no one expects them to be right all the time ... or ever. The possibilities, unfortunately, are endless.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse