Jesus Takes Wheel, Helps Stay-At-Home-Order-Defying Pastor Nearly Back Over Protestor

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Pastor Tony Spell of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, has already been arrested several times in the past month or so, for defying stay-at-home orders and insisting on busing in mass numbers of congregants to his church. Now, police have a warrant out for his arrest for a brand new charge — aggravated assault — after he threatened a man protesting his church services by nearly backing over him with a giant school bus.

WWJBO: Who Would Jesus Back Over?



Via The Washington Post:

Central Police Chief Roger Corcoran said police have a warrant for Spell's arrest. He is wanted on a charge of aggravated assault related to the bus incident, which took place Sunday. According to Corcoran, Spell was driving a bus and backed it up on the shoulder of the road, stopping the vehicle within a few feet of a protester. A parishioner is also facing charges for swerving his car toward a protester. No one was hurt in either incident.

"He was trying to intimidate the protester," Corcoran said. He said police reviewed video of the incident, which local television outlets aired.

Spell wrote in a text message that he would not surrender and that authorities would have to take him out of his church. A bus driver as well as a pastor, Spell said he had just finished dropping off church members before his encounter with the protester.

"I approached a man who verbally assaulted my wife and little girls. He's a crotch-grabbing, middle-finger using against my church ladies," Spell wrote in a text message. "What would you do to a man like that?"

I mean, I'm not a particularly holy person, but I don't think I would involve a large school bus in the handling of such a dispute.

While Spell, whose legal team now includes Roy "Banned From The Mall" Moore, won't turn himself in, he says he is very proud of having a warrant out for his arrest, because it means he is being persecuted for his faith. Either that or he is being persecuted for nearly running someone over with a bus. One of the two.

According to Chief Corcoran, Spell claims to have healed people from both cancer and HIV and is now actively recruiting people with coronavirus to come to his church so that can heal them. This faith healing, Spell explained to the Post, just cannot be done online — he needs to see them in person for it to be truly effective.

"We're a Pentecostal denomination, and when we gather and pray, the Holy Ghost comes in the midst. There are healings, signs, wonders, some things done together in the church that can't be done in a live stream," he said.

Judging by the fact that one guy from his congregation is dead from COVID-19 and his lawyer, also a member of the congregation, is currently in the hospital on oxygen therapy because he, too, contracted COVID-19, Tony Spell might not be very good at this healing people schtick. I'm sorry, but the results speak for themselves. Maybe there are people out there with the ability to magically heal people by laying hands on them, but Tony Spell sure ain't one of them.

Personally, if I believed in God and healing and signs and wonders, I would take a good long look at the fact that the very lawyer defending my right to defy these stay-at-home orders actually came down with COVID-19. I would probably consider that a fairly blatant "sign" that God didn't think this was such a great idea after all.

[Washington Post]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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