Real Soup Doesn't Come In Cans

Still gotta eat, right? Nothing fancy, nothing difficult this week -- I'm pretty sure none of us is in a mood for any of that. Besides, who has time for it right now? There's a Resistance to build! Meetings to attend, rallies to organize, plans to be made.

But an army, they say, travels on its stomach, so you still want something good. And, let's face it, we're all a little terrified and confused. We want something familiar, soothing, comforting. So, this week, I give you a variation on a much loved, familiar dish. Today, we make:

Super Savory Chicken Soup!

Intoxication level: One or two glasses of wine. You can compose letters to your elected officials while it simmers.

Time: 15 minutes prep, 45 minutes cooking: 1 hour, total.

Serves: You and 5 of your comrades



  • 2 teaspoons butter
  • 2 cups diced chicken ( approximately 3 breasts)
  • 1 cup sliced celery
  • 1 cup chopped carrot
  • 1⁄2 cup chopped onion
  • 1⁄2 teaspoon thyme
  • 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 48 ounces (6 cups) Chicken Broth
  • 2 teaspoons chicken bouillon
  • 1 or 2 potatoes
  • parsley, for garnish

Cutting board, a couple of knives, measuring cups and spoons. A pot, with lid, a big spoon for stirring. Keeping it simple.


  • Melt butter in large pot.
  • Add the diced chicken, thyme and poultry seasoning. Cook 5 - 10 minutes, until chicken is lightly browned.
  • Add the celery, carrot and onion. Continue cooking for 5 to 10 minutes.
  • Add the white wine, bring to a boil. Reduce by 1/2.
  • Add chicken broth and bouillon.
  • Bring to a boil.
  • Add potatoes and reduce heat to a high simmer. Cook, covered, for 30 minutes

Ladle into bowls. Sprinkle with parsley, if desired. DEFINITELY serve with a hunk of good bread.

Then get back to work, comrades. There is much to be done.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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