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Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES

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Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that's been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched "cnbc wrong" on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with minimal commentary, because there is just too much CNBC badness on the YouTubes. (He didn't even get some of the REALLY good stuff, like when a guest would come on in early 2007, say that housing prices would fall and land us in a major recession, and be met with a terrifying response of ear-crushing drunk laughter and almost violent mockery.) The segment was extremely popular, and CNBC has been in damage control ever since. And what's a better way to make the whole episode quietly disappear than by putting loud bear-frog Jim Cramer on teevee shows to scream at Jon Stewart, for being mean?

Thank you to the team at Josh Marshall's liberal TPM blog for putting together this lovely clip of Cramer desperately stomping around various NBC studios, finding any and all operational cameras, and yelling at them about how Jon Stewart is a sack of shit. In one of these episodes, Joe Scarborough gets in on the act! They talk about how Jon Stewart is dishonest, mean, personal, a cherry-picker, an idiot, and a pussy. In fact they describe almost perfectly the Denby Definition of a "snarker," but don't be fooled, because David Denby told us in his book that Jon Stewart is not a "snarker" since his comedy is backed by earnest Civic Passion, much like Keith Olbermann, although he occasionally has bouts of "snarking"... oh god, we let our minds wander for one second and here we are, drifting off on a cloud of Denbyian comedic teleology.

Why anyone would want to pick a fight with Jon Stewart is confusing, because everyone likes him, and no one likes super rich ex-hedge fund managers who screamed on the Money Channel that Bear Stearns was "FINE, EVERYBODY, FINE" six days before it fucking croaked on the doorstep of JP Morgan and was discreetly swept inside the vestibule by the Federal Government, to avoid a scene.

Cramer Responds to Stewart w/Help from Scarborough [TPM TV]

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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John Sanders high-fives a child who is not in a filthy border jail run by his agency. (US CBP photo)

The news is coming at us so fast we have to double up stories -- like little children being crammed into border detention cells without enough blankets for everyone, that is what it is like. Tuesday, we learned Acting Customs and Border Protection Commissioner John Sanders, who has only been in the job for two months, will resign effective July 5, and will be replaced by current Acting ICE Director Mark Morgan.

The news of Sanders's resignation came by pure coincidence just hours after a CBP official told the Washington Post that 100 children would be returned to a Border Patrol detention facility in Clint, Texas; this was quite a surprise given that CBP had rushed to get over 300 kids out of that same border jail starting Monday, after lawyers reported the kids were filthy and poorly fed, and that the care of very young children had been left to slightly older kids -- like seven and eight years old. Probably just a coincidence that Sanders is deserting ship just as the news is full of just how horrible those baby jails were -- in this administration, that's something to be proud of.

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