What's the Stupidest Man On The Internet up to these days?

What's that? Let's try that headline again, this time in English.

HOORAY! Dipshit McBirther Jerome Corsi's case against Robert Mueller, where he is suing him for $350 million American dollars, will go forward! It will be taken seriously by grown-ups and nobody will laugh at it ever again the way Wonkette did!

Or, you know, the opposite of that.

If you don't remember, Corsi's lawyer in his pursuit to expose Mueller's prosecutorial misconduct is Larry Klayman, who is basically the Hair Club president and also a client of losing lawsuits or having them thrown out entirely or having courts refuse to even waste their time dignifying them with a response. This is why we call him a "superlawyer."

As Think Progress explains, Corsi and Klayman tried to go around normal procedures and get Judge Richard Leon to hear their case in a hilarious example of judge-shopping. Instead of following normal procedures and letting their lawsuit get assigned randomly to one of 23 federal judges, they tried to argue that they should really get to take this to Leon, because #REASONS. The chief reason, Think Progress notes, is pretty obviously that Judge Leon is a wingnut. (A serious wingnut.) Their official argument, though, was that there are cases Leon has decided that are directly related to Corsi's lawsuit, ergo and ipso facto that means Leon The Wingnut should get to hear Corsi's suit, because duh obviously.

But what was it about Corsi's case that was so related to Leon's cases?

Corsi's lawyers claim that a case called Klayman v. Obama, which Leon handled, is so closely related to Mr. Corsi's suit against Mueller that they both should be heard by the same judge. [...] Klayman was a lawsuit challenging the National Security Agency's bulk collection of telephone metadata. The only thing that Klayman appears to have in common with Corsi is that the plaintiff in Klayman, "pathologically litigious attorney" Larry Klayman, also happens to be one of Mr. Corsi's lawyers.

Riiiiiiiight. The tenuous connection they were going for is their bullshit claim that Robert Mueller has been illegally surveiling Jerome Corsi, which is just like that time Klayman sued the NSA over its data collection practices. Corsi's hilarious word salad lawsuit even accuses the FBI, NSA, CIA and DOJ of being in cahoots, conspiring to do the bad "wire tapps" inside Jerome Corsi's sumptuous bottom!

Judge Leon ruled in 2013 that the NSA's practices probably violate the Fourth Amendment and issued an injunction against the NSA's phone metadata collection program, but put a stay on his ruling pending appeal. The appeals court found that the plaintiffs didn't have standing to sue, and eventually the program ceased to exist, and when it was remanded back to Leon's courtroom in 2017, Leon dismissed Klayman's case with prejudice, again for lack of standing. (For a longer history lesson on Klayman's cases against the NSA, click here. Leon appeared to try to help Klayman as much as he could, but at the end of the day, a Larry Klayman case is a Larry Klayman case is a Larry Klayman case.)

So anyway, Judge Leon in essence told Klayman and Corsi, "OK crazy people, show me on the doll how these cases are all related and SHOW YOUR WORK." (Narrator: They did not.) And on Thursday, Leon -- a fellow wingnut! -- agreed with common sense that Corsi's case has shitfuck to do with Klayman's other cases, and that Corsi would be assigned to a random judge, which was the normal practice to begin with, the thing Corsi and Klayman did not want. (Leon's order was BRUTAL and you should read it.)

Did we say Larry Klayman is a superlawyer already? We should mention that.

This is what Jim Hoft was breathlessly terming a "win" in his headline. Thing is, in the entire body of the piece, Hoft didn't even try to bend reality and make this obvious loss into a win. He just typed stupid words like this:

"Strong case," ayup!

Hoft also noted that Very Important People showed up to watch the judge tell Klayman and Corsi to pound sand.

The funniest thing about this is that even Hoft's big dumb commenters are not buying it. Oh sure, there are some who can't read saying things like "You going to expose the fraud and deceit of the entire SWAMP!" and "Let's have some D-I-S-C-O-V-E-R-Y" and "Klayman is an excellent lawyer, the evidence of criminality is overwhelming." (Really.)

But the rest of them -- bless their hearts -- understand that Hoft is full of shit, and are saying, in their own "I think Gateway Pundit is real news" way, that the fix is in, that this wasn't a win at all, and also things like this:


(That's not an exact quote, but rather a scientific amalgamation of Hoft's comments section.)

And quite frankly, they're sort of right, except for their imbecilic rantings about about how it's all a Deep State conspiracy. The case has indeed been randomly reassigned to a judge named Ellen Huvelle, who was appointed to her current position by Bill Clinton, so go ahead and fall on the floor laughing your asses off over that.

But don't worry, Larry Klayman will figure it all out because he's a superlawyer (nope), and Jim Hoft isn't as dumb as he looks right now, even to his own commenters (yes he is), and soon Jerome Corsi will put Robert Mueller's Deep State Witch Hunt IN JAIL where it belongs (still nope).

[Think Progress]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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