Jimmie Walker Has Low Standards

April 25, 2007 11:36 AM

We were forwarded this email from Jimmie Walker late last night. It's probably fake. Regardless, it's hilarious.

From: Jimmie Walker [address redacted, but it in involves the word "dynomite"]
To: Melvin [redacted]
Subject: Re: Ann Coulter
Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2007 20:12:40 -0700 (PDT)
Melvin:
I respect your opinion...
and of course you are entitled to it... I appreciate how respectful
you were...
Ann and I have dated a little,
but we're better friends...
She's very sweet...
it's too bad many people
will never see that...
Thanks for your point of
view...
respectfully
Jimmie Walker

So Ann Coulter dated J.J. If that surprises you, you don't want to hear what we know about Michelle Malkin and Red Foxx.

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Pareene

The President's Brain Fell Out Again, Anybody Got A Bucket And A Mop?

What ... just ... what?

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Bad news, everyone, Donald Trump decided to speak in public again, and he didn't just confess to multiple obstruction of justice crimes, ESSENTIALLY. He said so much more than that, and because we have a headache, we have chosen freely to listen to a few videos of Trump talking, because we don't know why.

The thing he was supposed to be talking about? "Medical bills." The thing he actually talked about? Mostly not that.

He whined about Robert Mueller, you know, the guy who ESSENTIALLY exonerated him, except he doesn't want you to see the underlying evidence or the grand jury testimony or the counter-intel that probably shows just how far up his ass Vladimir Putin really is. In this first video, he bitches about Mueller's "conflicts," as if even his own advisers didn't tell him he was full of shit about those. He says he and Mueller had a "business dispute," which consisted entirely of Mueller asking for a partial refund of his membership dues on a Trump resort trash palace property the Mueller family wasn't using and then never mentioning it again. And he says there is a "picture file" that has one million glamour shots of Mueller and James Comey together, because they are "in love."

Or something. Here, you make sense of it.

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NRA Hack Dana Loesch Cycles Through 5 Stages of Grift

She seems horrible.

Guns

Dana Loesch won't stop being horrible. After yet another school shooting, the NRA cheerleader has scrambled to pin the blame on anything that's not a gun or gun shaped. She's currently going through the five stages of grift.

Denial

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We think they're tired of being shot, Dana. Also you exploit people's fears for a living.

Twitter

"How did two kids gain access to guns when guns are fucking everywhere, thanks to people like me?" Lady, minors live with adults. That's how it works. Your moronic organization has even opposed bills requiring parents to lock up their guns in a safe so children can't get to them.

You wonder how kids smuggled handguns into a school. They probably hid them because handguns are easily concealed. (Colorado is a concealed carry state.) And also, they are guns. A heroic child tried to stop the shooters and was murdered for his trouble.

Oh, and therapy is not a "warning sign" of potential homicidal impulses, you heartless hack. You just slandered countless kids.

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