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Nobody's especially surprised to learn that working fast food is, at most places, pretty freaking awful. Low wages, no job security, no benefits, not enough hours, no union, terrible bosses, and all the job satisfaction of working a food assembly line, plus smelling like the fryer when you get home. But at least if you can find a better offer, you can move on, in accord with the best tenets of capitalism.


Unless you work at Jimmy John's sammich shops, where not only do their employees get treated to low wages and the other usual crap of fast-food work, they also are required to sign a non-compete agreement in which they promise not to work at any "competitor" for two years. And what is a competitor? Any business within three miles of any Jimmy John's -- and not just restaurants, but ANY business that makes 10 percent or more of its money from sammiches. As Kitchenette's C.A. Pinkham puts it:

Basically, any former Jimmy John's employee can't work at ANY restaurant that serves sandwiches or even any business that provides sandwiches as a side service (10% of their revenue, remember) within three miles of any existing Jimmy John's. A company spokeswoman refused to comment, because Jimmy John's doesn't give even a semblance of a fuck about basic human decency, and they're scared that if they have to publicly comment on this issue, that'll become blatantly obvious.

Normally, non-compete agreements are reserved for executives, so they won't spill company secrets like Coca-Cola's secret recipe or what kind of animals, if any, are actually used to make Taco Bell's "ground beef." But there aren't a lot of secrets that an ordinary sammich slinger would be likely to give up to the competition -- "we use four pickles arranged in a ziggurat" -- and so the more likely explanation is just plain keeping workers under the corporate thumb:

Obviously, this has nothing to do with the divestment of company secrets and everything to do with putting workers in as desperate a situation as possible where they're terrified to lose or leave their jobs. Jimmy John's seeks to control its employees lives, treat them as crappily as they feel like, and prevent them from seeking out any better situation. To say it's an actively, heinously evil practice would be a profound understatement.

Let's also make it abundantly clear that any conservative who expounds upon the importance of free market capitalism and who isn't up in arms over this bullshit is a fucking hypocrite. The entire purpose of that economic system is supposed to be that one rises to the level of one's ability (even if that's not how it usually works in practice) — this includes the notion that a competitor can lure you over with a better job offer if they so choose. But if you are prevented from taking any better job by a ludicrously restrictive agreement you have to sign if you want the first job, we at least need to stop calling it the "free" market, because that's become a total misnomer.

The noncompete agreement is part of a possible class action lawsuit being pursued against the sandwich chain; the company has also been sued for wage theft. Not only does the noncompete clause apply to managers, it also applies to delivery drivers, one of whom is a party in the proposed lawsuit.

That decides us: No Jimmy Johns for us. They've got exactly the kinds of business practices that you'd expect from a company owned by a loathsome rightwing schmuck who, in addition to trying to snuff out unions, also delights in going on big game safaris and contributing buckets of money to Joe Goddamned Arpaio.

On the upside, we now find ourselves with a Socialisms Blog Crush on this Kitchenette place.

[Kitchenette / HuffPo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Arkansas Republican Senator and evil Pinocchio turned into a real live boy Tom Cotton appeared on CBS's "Face the Nation" to discuss the attacks on oil tankers on the Gulf of Oman. And while the world is still trying to confirm IF Iran perpetrated the attacks due to conflicting accounts (the US says it was Iran with mines; the Japanese shipping operator says it was a “flying object"), that hasn't stopped GOP politicians like Cotton from trying to turn this into the justification they've been looking for, for great good glorious WAR.

MARGARET BRENNAN: You have long been defined as a hawk on Iran. You see these recent attacks, these are commercial vessels not military installations. What kind of response is warranted?

COTTON
: Well Iran for 40 years has engaged in this kind of attacks going back to the 1980s. In fact Ronald Reagan had to reflag a lot of vessels going through the Persian Gulf and ultimately take military action against Iran in 1988. These unprovoked attacks on commercial shipping warrant a retaliatory military strike.

BRENNAN
: Are you- you're comparing the tanker war in the '80s to now and saying that that's the kind of military response you want to see?

COTTON: We can make a military wreck- response in a time and in a manner of our choosing. But yes, unprovoked attacks on commercial shipping warrant a retaliatory military strike against the Islamic Republic of Iran.

The goddamn “Tanker Wars"?! Oh ... you mean when, during the Iraq-Iran War, we waited until Kuwait formally asked for our assistance to escort Saddam Hussein's oil? When Reagan, without approval from Congress, reflagged Kuwaiti vessels? When Reagan got us involved in the Iraq-Iran War leading to a daylong naval battle between Iran and the US, known as Operation Praying Mantis? The conflict we jumped into that led to our mistaking an Iran Air commercial jetliner for an Iranian F-14, shooting it down and killing all 290 people onboard, including 66 children? That's what you want to repeat, Tom Cotton?! Also, whatever happened to our ally, Saddam Hussein?

They say that those who don't learn from history repeat it. Tom Cotton is here to prove Republicans never learn. Watch the video below for yourself:

Cotton says "unprovoked attacks to oil profits" from Iran "warrant a retaliatory military strike" www.youtube.com

While Tom Cotton was justifying a war with Iran on CBS, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was having a surprisingly harder time on “Fox News Sunday" than he did on CBS when he transparently insinuated what the Trump administration really cares about with Iran ( "Texas Tea").

Pompeo: Trump doesn't war with Iran but will "defend American OIL interests" www.youtube.com

Seems Pompeo was upset that his “beating the drums of war" shtick was being interrupted to have to answer about Trump admitting (more like bragging) it was okay to take foreign assistance (and then walking it back when all the killjoys said it was illegal). After playing the ABC News clip, Chris Wallace asked a very pointed yet direct question. Pompeo's answer, however, was far from both:

WALLACE: Is accepting oppo research from a foreign government right or wrong?

POMPEO: Chris, you know you asked me not to call any of your questions today ridiculous ... You came really close right there. (awkward giggle) President Trump has been very clear. He ... he clarified his remarks later. He ... he made it very clear. Even in his first comment. He said "I'd do both." He said he'd call the FBI ...

WALLACE: He said "Maybe I'd do both."

POMPEO: President Trump has been very clear. That he will always make sure that he gets it right for the American people and I'm confident he'll do that here as well.

It was at this moment Pompeo thought he was golden because he's on Fox News and they never follow up! But clearly he forgot Chris Wallace doesn't play like that.

WALLACE: At the risk of getting your ire, the President told "Fox and Friends" on Friday, and I agree, he kind of walked it back...

POMPEO: He didn't walk it back.

WALLACE
: Yes, he did. Because he said "maybe" on Thursday. And then on Friday, on "Fox and Friends," he said "he'd listen first AND then if the information was bad that he would take it to the FBI or the Attorney General." But he also made it clear to George Stephanopolous that he did not see this as "foreign interference." And I want to play a clip of the President's own words ...

Then Wallace played ANOTHER clip of Trump's idiotic words back to Pompeo. Then he asks Pompeo one more time:

WALLACE: He says "it's not interference, it's information." The country, sir, and I don't need to tell you, has a long history dating back to George Washington in saying that foreign interference in our elections is unacceptable. POMPEO: Chris, President Trump believes that too. I have nothing further to add. I came on to talk about foreign policy and I think that's the third time you've asked me about a Washington ... piece of ... silliness. That's just, that's just a story that's inconsistent with what I've seen from President Trump do every single day.

After an awkward pause and visible anger in Pompeo's face (really, do watch), Chris Wallace calls it a day ... but remembers to remind Pompeo he's a thin-skinned baby:

WALLACE: I will leave it there. I think I only asked you twice but that's alright Mr. Secretary. Thank you. Thanks for your time and Happy Father's Day, sir.

Watch the video below for yourself.

And that's all for this week in Trump's collusion and "wag the dog"/Saudi oil interest war chants. So let's end with a couple of pictures of my new puppy, Harley Quinn!

Might as well have one last nice thing before our next war or stolen election. Have a week!


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