JK Rowling's Rules For Writing, Life, And Success! Tabs, Wed., April 29, 2020

Tabs gifs by Martini Ambassador!

I'm gonna need you to click through and learn a thing.

Fox Business all like STIMMY STAGE FOUR IS MAYBE NEGATIVE PAYROLL TAX and you are all like wtf is negative payroll tax Fox Business, and Fox Business all like IT THE THING WE RENAMED JOSH HAWLEY'S SOCIALISM PLAN SO THE PEOPLE WE FEARMONGERED ABOUT SOCIALISM WON'T BE AFEARED BECAUSE NEGATIVE PAYROLL TAX OBVS THE MOST CAPITALIST AND ALSO MOST MANLY. So it's the Josh Hawley/Pramila Jayapal "government pays your wages" and I'm not mad, even though you know Josh Hawley is going to be our populist nazi president in 2024.

Steve Mnuchin all like "GONNA AUDIT YOU for following the Paycheck Protection Program guidelines AS I WROTE THEM." What a cock. (New York Times)

Well-apologized, Andy Beshear!

OSHA's not doing jack-shit, as we already know. So if you're working somewhere dangerous, you're stuck with hoping you live in a state with a Dem AG. — ProPublica

Not even gonna deal with any of the Trump news right now. Don't care about his meatpacking DPA, his promise to immunize them from worker lawsuits, or his do me a favor though, on blue states turning over undocumented people if they want COVID assistance. Not even a little.

Black women leading the charge against reopening the South too quickly. Good luck, women. We're all counting on you. (Washington Post)

Hey, Tulsi Gabbard said a true!

Weird, even Ohio Republicans are like "lunatic state Senate candidate? No, but thanks!" (Dispatch)

This is a bad bad bad bad video of the white Rancho Cordova, California, cop beating the shit out of a skinny black teenager. — Buzzfeed

Justin Amash is running for president. Gonna go with

How Can Mike Pence Hate Gays If He Just Munched Beanee Weenees With A Gay Like Five Minutes Ago? Giphy

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a lieeeeeee. (Mel Magazine)

Everybody is flipping out because Nancy Meyers showed her kitchen on Instagram, and it looks exactly like the kitchens in all her movies. (Enjoyably ranked here!) I can't watch them because they took Meryl Streep's Santa Barbara garden and, like, tied tomatoes to the tomato vines, look at this nonsense, who can watch this it is too crazy.

I at least like that her kitchens aren't sterile though, and stuff is allowed to live on her islands and counters, which form an obstacle course and you're definitely gonna hit your hip on one of those corners trying to make it to the sink.

Ok bye.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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