JOAN LIVES! Our favorite Kansas gubernatorial candidate, Joan Heffington, has e-mailed supporters a message saying she's decided to continue her campaign as a write-in candidate, even though she will probably be in prison on election day. Prison?! Yes, Joan is in trouble with the Kansas government for practicing law without a license. How have her teenage sons responded to this tough development? "They sensed I was talking about my A.H.A! activities, and I was surprised when my youngest son said, 'You should do like Rosa Parks did. Become famous.'"

Here's the full e-mail:

After losing the primary so badly in the Kansas governor’s race, I had to wonder… was it fixed? Even my campaign members were convinced this time. So I asked Atty. Gen. Eric Holder for an investigation, since so many people are upset about having to choose between Brownback or Holland. And in case there is too little publicity (again), I wanted to let people know that I am running as a write-in candidate in the general election on Nov. 2. Maybe my biggest mistake in the primary was letting someone talk me into picking a party, when I was already registered as a “GDI” – a God-driven independent. So I have changed back, because I don’t want to let down the 55,000 people who voted for me. Although my name will not appear on the ballot, we hope you will encourage people (twitter, tweet, blog, etc.) to type in my name as a write-in candidate. We want them to know they still have a choice on Nov. 2.

I also wanted to update you on the false lawsuit brought against me by Kansas Atty. General Steven Six for practicing law without a license. The state is demanding that I take a deposition and turn over all books & records. They want me to pay $10,000 for every person I have helped as C.E.O. of the Association for Honest Attorneys. I was threatened with sanctions and a contempt charge if I plead the 5th Amendment to all questions asked (jail to follow). I am still without counsel, since Washington insiders have influenced lawyers not to represent me/the A.H.A! for the past ten years. This case isn’t just about helping poor people file lawsuits against government entities, it is to keep me from sending out our quarterly newsletter and to deny my freedom of speech. My deposition is scheduled for Aug. 26 in Sedgwick County court.

Being concerned about how all of this might affect my teenage sons, I asked them both: if they taught themselves how to do something (like woodwork, fix cars, etc), then showed someone else how to do it, but the state came in and sued them, made them pay fines and put them in jail - what would they do? They sensed I was talking about my A.H.A! activities, and I was surprised when my youngest son said, “You should do like Rosa Parks did. Become famous.” If the harassment continues, maybe we’ll have the first governor elected from jail. With God, nothing is impossible!

VOTE NOTE: A McPherson man called to tell us that when you drop down on the screen, you must check the box next to “write-in” candidate, then type in my name “Joan Heffington.” If you don’t do both, your vote won’t count!

It's probably time we organize a legal defense fund and figure out which of us are going to take care of Joan's sons when she's in prison, Wonketteers. She needs us. But while things may look bleak now, Joan will ride a wave of pure Baby Jesus light from her cell to the Kansas governor's mansion on election day, and FINALLY the government chips in our heads will be deactivated by the power of the Lord.

Her son is right: Rosa Parks would write-in-candidacy THE FUCK out of this gubernatorial election. Keep Rosa's legacy alive, Joan!

[thanks to Wonkette operative "Anthony"]

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