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Opossum-eyed Jesusgeologist Joe Barton, Republican Congressman from Texas, signaled his intent last month to stop the liberal Waxman-Markey energy bill -- the one with cap-and-trade, which is about hamburgers -- with traditional adult methods of opposition: "I’m going to be the sneaky little guy that pops up from behind the bush and fights the guerrilla. But guerrilla warfare does succeed sometimes." (Fortunately for him this world has professional transcribers, because he definitely was saying he wanted to fight a gorilla.) And now he is popping up from behind the bush with a reasonable plan to block the legislation by proposing 450 comical amendments -- four-hundred-and-fifty -- that will simply be rejected, one by one, during an exhausting process that will embarrass the United States around the world and in Heaven. HAW HAW HAW.


As the Washington Independent points out, hundreds of the amendments are along these lines: WILL A SWING STATE LOSE JOBS? (Probably!) (But they'll lose more when the EARTH MELTS in 20 years though!)

* #30: “Suspends the act should more than 1,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”

* #31: “Suspends the act should more than 2,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”

* #32: “Suspends the act should more than 5,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”

* #33: “Suspends the act should more than 10,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”

* #34: “Suspends the act should more than 50,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”

Congress!

And here's Joe Barton saying Henry Waxman "doesn't have the nuts" to, uh, ignore Joe Barton. Does he know Henry Waxman?

And the Guerilla War Begins... [Washington Independent]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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