Joe Biden Did A Gaffe, Oh Wait No He Didn't, GET HIM ANYWAY, NEW YORK TIMES!

Oh no, lamentations, teardrops and fiddlesticks, Joe Biden made a gaffe with his gaffe machine, which is his mouth. Now you might be worried and shouting out "Wonkette!" because you call out to us like that when you are worried. "Wonkette! What did Joe Biden say? Did he somehow seem to suggest George Floyd is probably having a celebration in Heaven today because of a really tremendous jobs report?"

No, that was Donald Trump.

Joe Biden just said some people suck, but not even as many as Hillary Clinton said, when she said half of Trump's supporters are a "basket of deplorables," which was a severe misunderestimationism on her part. Because you see, according to our back of the napkin math, about 62.9 million people voted for Trump, as opposed to 65.8 million, almost three million more for Hillary Clinton. So if you divide Trump's small number of voters in half and put that half in the basket of deplorables, you get 31.45 million people who suck.

Meanwhile Joe Biden! Well, we will let the New York Timestell you, because the Times is like "OMG! We are for shocked and appalled! This is almost as bad as the time Hillary Clinton had a Hotmail and Joe Biden had a son named Hunter! Maybe we should get Tom Cotton to write an op-ed about sending the troops to declare wars on Joe Biden!"


And those "10 to 15 percent" of Americans who are bad were definitely on the fence, trying to decide whether or not they should vote for Joe Biden.

So there are two ways of looking at this, if we are to fairly assess it like an expert journalist of the caliber of, say, Chris Cillizza. If it's 10 to 15 percent of Trump voters, then that is way less than the 31.45 million deplorables Hillary Clinton identified and placed into a basket. On the other hand, it does kind of sound like he said "there are probably anywhere from 10 to 15 percent of the people out there that are just not very good people," and it sounds like that because it's an exact quote.

So, America has about 329 million people. That means according to Joe Biden's math, somewhere between 32.9 million and 49.35 million Americans fucking suck. We are sorry, but we are still not seeing how this is not a severe misunderestimationism.


Do you want some context, or can we just stick with the Times's "CLICK ME, CLICK ME, I'M LONELY" headline, like Bernie Sanders's former press secretary, who is always on the side of fairness and truth, did?

Let's go with context.

It was an event about racism, a virtual town hall discussion with black supporters, moderated by very cool actor Don Cheadle. Wanna watch a clip? NO, WE DO NOT WANT TO WATCH A CLIP, WE WANT TO TAKE IT OUT OF CONTEXT AND USE IT AGAINST BIDEN BECAUSE ARE FUCKING DICKS!

J/K let's do "clip":

Biden Says 10 to 15% of Americans Aren't Very Good

BIDEN: The words a president says matter. So when a president stands up and divides people all the time, you're gonna get the worst of us to come out. The worst in us all to come out.

[If a president] constantly talks about equality, without lecturing, talks about and has an administration that looks like the country [...] it changes attitudes. And it's about the attitude of the country. Do we want our kids -- do we really think this is as good as we can be as a nation? I don't think the vast majority of people think that.

There are probably anywhere from 10 to 15 percent of the people out there that are just not very good people. But that's not who we are. The vast majority of people are decent. We have to appeal to that, and we have to unite people, bring them together.

Wow, that's all just true. And if you take what he says literally, it sounds like he means the vast majority of people, including people who voted for Trump last time, are decent people. We kept waiting for him to say something terrible, but it didn't come.

And how do we know that? Because we took the time to listen to the whole thing for ourselves, instead of being intellectually dishonest assholes.

shooting star GIFGiphy

To be clear, the Times article, if you actually read beyond the headline, isn't complete garbage, and other outlets are also reporting on this. But it's pretty garbage, because of how that's literally the headline, and how it's being framed as a gaffe, when it wasn't remotely that. Also we see no reason to be nice to the Times right this particular moment.

Hell, if you watch the clip above and put some music to it and maybe a picture of a puppy, it's a good and concise message.

Biden campaign and/or Lincoln Project? CUT THE FUCKIN' AD.

And now it is your OPEN THREAD!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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