Joe Biden Says What All Patriotic Americans Thinking About Peter Doocy

Joe Biden Says What All Patriotic Americans Thinking About Peter Doocy

Fox News's Peter Doocy, in the remaining milliseconds before the president of the United States called him a 'stupid son of a bitch.'

America's liberals and progressives have their own new version of "Let's go Brandon," and it is "Peter Doocy is a stupid son of a bitch." (Liberals and progressive don't need code words for cusses, because we're goddamned fucking adults.)

Yesterday at the end of a back-and-forth with journalists, Fox News's Doocy, a known idiot, shouted a question about whether inflation was a political liability for President Joe Biden heading into the midterms. Biden, clearly slightly frustrated that someone with a press pass to open their mouth in that room would waste their breath on asking something so stupid, called Doocy a "stupid son of a bitch," sarcastically remarking that no, inflation is just great.

And we haven't searched all the filthy bowels of the rightwing internet to confirm, but you just know the usual suspects are just howling and caterwauling in fake outrage. Oh, the poor snowflakes.

Was yesterday the day Joe Biden became president? Is Joe Biden just like Donald Trump now, being all uncouth and rude, and will Chuck Todd feel compelled to convene a panel of presidential historians on this weekend's "Meet the Press" to discuss both sides of cusses? Is this far worse than anything sinless god-king Trump ever said, since Trump was chosen by God, whereas a Chinese-Italian satellite stole the election for Biden?

Fortunately, there are answers for these questions. So for anyone out there currently having a smelling salts moment over the president of the United States calling Peter Doocy a "stupid son of a bitch," how about shut your fuckin' mouth while we explain? Because outrage over how Trump debased the presidency with his language was never about the vulgarity itself, but about, among other things, the hypocrisy of his followers who condoned it.

Liberals have always been able to handle some well-placed cusses. Conservatives are the ones who, in the middle of discussions about the morality of driving LGBTQ+ kids to suicide or allowing cops to murder Black people, hyperventilate in comments sections because somebody said a swear. Conservative Christians are the ones so childish as to believe in a tiny loser God who's obsessed with potty language. And again, liberals aren''t conspiratorially tee-heeing to themselves and hoping Jesus didn't hear them say "Let's Go Brandon."

Moreover, it's not the same as when Donald Trump would have a conniption and call the press the enemy of the people or stupid. First of all, nobody thinks Peter Doocy is "the press." Never before has anyone seen Peter Doocy and uttered the words, "Oh no, here comes the journalism man! Everyone guard your secrets!"

And while it's true that Trump would call people stupid as president, it was always obvious projection, from a man so braindead he mused about the possibilities of people consuming bleach to kill the coronavirus, who looked into the sun during an eclipse even though he had been told not to. This is the man about whom Fran Lebowitz said, "You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don't."

What makes Joe Biden calling Peter Doocy a "stupid son of a bitch" hilarious is that it's what just about everyone is thinking about Peter Doocy, probably including most of the people in that room. Press Secretary Jen Psaki has made a daily ritual of making Doocy step on his own dick and eat it. Every time the camera points to his stupid face, a collective groan goes through America's soul, as we all wonder what inane mouth-breath the guy is going to expel this time.

And now Joe Biden has said it out loud, the thing we all were thinking. And it was great. And this will probably follow Doocy around for the rest of his life. His obituary will probably start with words like "Peter Doocy, the chinless Fox News nepotism hire once called a 'stupid son of a bitch' on a open mic by President Joe Biden ... "

Of course, the other thing about this that's different from Trump is that Joe Biden reportedly had the class to call Doocy to apologize, even though he spoke the truth and it was funny. Did he say "I'm sorry you're a stupid son of a bitch"? That's what Wonkette would say if somebody was peer pressuring us to apologize to Peter Doocy, but we are going to guess Biden said something different. We'd note, however, that Doocy himself didn't call his conversation with Biden an "apology," but said Biden had "cleared the air." This was on Hannity's show, though, and Doocy was obviously trying to make it seem like he came out of this the winner.

So let's just say Biden apologized. It's fine. The bell's been rung, you can't unring it, and it was a good fuckin' bell.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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