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Joe Lieberman Pretends To Care About Insider Trading In Congress

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Old persons' program60 Minutes is about the only thing on the teevee that occasionally does journalism. So when the nation’s half-dozing seniors saw this report air last Sunday about how the representatives in Washington have turned the Halls of Congress into a Temple of Insider-Trading Whoredom, you knew there would be some serious upheaval, right? Ha ha, just kidding! All that’s happening is Joe Lieberman, winner of the Most Hated Man in Washington Award for 10 years running, is joining forces with unwanted teabagger Scott Brown, along with various other grandstanders who will have Bipartisan meetings to "probe" the situation they all know about and profit from.


This minor hullabaloo was started by a retired congressman named Brian Baird, apparently the only person in D.C. who ever cared that members of Congress use their confidential and closed-door meetings to gather super-secret Hot Stock Tips -- which they then use to enrich themselves through insider trading! And it’s all perfectly legal! Oh, and then a former Sarah Palin aide, of all people, got angry and wrote a book about it with the awesome title Throw Them All Out. All of them.

According to wingnut newsletter and shopping guide Newsmax:

Baird’s STOCK (Stop Trading On Congressional Knowledge) Act failed to gain traction on Capitol Hill despite four attempts to introduce it. He never got more than six colleagues to sign on as co-sponsors and the bill went nowhere.

But now, leading Republicans like Sen. Scott Brown of Massachusetts, and Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Connecticut Independent, are throwing their weight behind the anti-insider trading fervor.

Well, we wouldn’t call it “fervor,” exactly. But it’s something.

Brown filed a bill to prohibit insider trading in Congress, and a key Senate committee has agreed to hold a public hearing on the measure.

The Massachusetts Republican’s bill would bar members or employees of Congress and the executive branch from using nonpublic information obtained through their public service for the purpose of investing for personal financial gain.

Wouldn’t that be nice? It won’t ever happen, of course, but at least we’ll have some “public hearings,” maybe, with Lieberman getting laughs for his cartoon character impressions and no one will say anything to offend/implicate their “good friends” in Congress and no bill will ever reach the floor. [CBS/Newsmax]

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On Monday, Gloria Vanderbilt -- socialite, jeans lady, and mom of Anderson Cooper -- passed away at the age of 95. In more normal times, this would merely result in a few obituaries and tributes about her life, and the requisite few RIP tweets.

Unfortunately, we do not live in normal times. These days, no celebrity can die without it becoming the purview of the crazypants QAnon cult, followers of which believe that no one ever dies under normal circumstances, especially not 95-year-old ladies.

Vanderbilt and her family were already something of an obsession with these people due to several "Q proofs" accusing her of doing magic spells, wearing magic illuminati owl necklaces, and [checks notes] doing something involving "red shoes," which the QAnon people think people only wear if they love sacrificing children to Satan.

Yes, this is a thing. No, I do not know if they are also mad at Elvis Costello.

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