Joe Scarborough had a dream. A dream born from a simpler time, last year, when Donald Trump was but a rising star in the GOP. When Trump would call him up for late night to gab about the campaign and what Carly Fiorina thought she was doing with her hair. As one of the few pundits extolling Trump's virtues at that point, Scarborough imagined himself as a part of the Trump campaign, helping it along. Helping Trump along by telling him he should probably apologize when he blatantly insulted people like John McCain and all of Mexico, even though Trump was like "No thanks, that is not a thing that I do." The former congressman even thought -- hoped -- that he'd be considered as a possible running mate.


But soon, that seemed like it was becoming less and less of a possibility. Was Scarborough's heart broken? Perhaps, because it wasn't long before he turned, and joined the chorus of anti-Trumpers -- their friendship has yet to recover and Trump now continually tweets stuff about "Low ratings Morning Joe" in retaliation.

OH, BUT SPEAKING OF CHORUSES!

Joe Scarborough now has a new dream, and it is to write a musical about his relationship with Donald Trump. For real, this is a thing he is doing. He went into some detail about this in a recent interview with GQ, and even played reporter Jason Zengerele a demo of one of the songs.

I'm just a simple man

Blessed with this orange tan

I'm simply titanic

Beloved by Hispanics and Jews

I'm huge

Losers don't understand

The genius of my border plan

They call me a fool

Then they dare ridicule my huge hands

Sondheim, he's not, but Scarborough thinks this could be a Tony-winning endeavor, whether or not Trump wins. He says it's Hamilton meets The Book of Mormon, and he's already got a bunch of fancy people involved.

The snippet I'd heard was rough—just a demo, Scarborough reminded me, sung by a friend of his—but in a month, he'd visit a New York City studio to produce a more polished version. There, David Cook, Taylor Swift's band director, would man the soundboard, and Rory O'Malley, who currently brings down the house as King George III in Hamilton, would handle the vocal work. After that, Scarborough and his agent, Ari Emanuel, would have what they needed to start lining up financial backers to stage a production.

It is set to be called Trump: The Musical, ostensibly because Sideshow was already taken, and will be about the deterioration of the once beautiful friendship between Joe Scarborough himself and Donald Trump. Which does not sound particularly fascinating, in my humble opinion as a musical theater nerd. Nor does an hour of #jokes about how Donald Trump has small hands, which is by far the least terrifying thing about him. The story here, as it is in every Marx Brothers movie, is not the fact that Donald Trump is an absurd person, but the fact that he's somehow able to get so many people to go along with him.

Perhaps I am just jealous though, because I did not come up with the idea of writing Trump: The Musical! first. Especially because I already know which song I'd use as the main theme, were I to take on such an endeavor.

[GQ]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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