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Joe The Plumber's Life Officially Becomes Off-Putting David Lynch Film

News

We don't know how to adequately explain thefootage here. Unlicensed craftsman Samuel Wurzelbacher, who is also known as "Joe the Plumber," is doing commercials for some cheap-ass electronics online scam store, in which he both stresses the importance of and promises to offer personal instructions for setting up an analog-to-digital teevee converter that the olds and the hobbits will all have to purchase before February 2009, or else they'll miss new episodes of their favorite program, Numb3rs.


"This isn't about politics -- it's about doing the right thing," Joe the Plumber declares at the outset of this video, gently defusing America's fear that this introductory how-to ad about installing cheap new robot widgets or whatever to the teevee would suddenly devolve into a political rant about illegal Mexicans or the legality of doubling property taxes on seasonal vacation homes.

Later, however, Joe tells us that this is, in fact, about politics. Homeland security, namely.

America, we've never had a transition of this magnitude in the United States. The DTV transition affects the public safety of the United States, so it's imperative that all Americans come together and learn all we can about the DTV transition...

Imperative that we all "come together"? Whatever you say Karl. Oh our bad, your name isn't Karl at all, it's Joe! (Samuel?) It was just that you sounded so much like Karl Marx, when you said that.

We could type about this video for 500 hours. The production values are staggering. He reads in monotone. About the teevee. You see what's going on here, right? The 24% of this country that will sob if a Palin/Plumber ticket doesn't seize the White House in 2012 will do anything this man says. And he's telling them to buy a space gizmo from a shady looking mail-in outlet if they want to have any chance whatsoever of not getting killed by Terrorists immediately.

Joe's DTV Education Corner [Velocity Store]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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