John Bolton Being Mean To Newsmax Idiots Who Say Trump Was Tough On Russia

Let's be clear about something. John Bolton is an ass, and when we hear his voice, we prefer it to be in a room testifying to Congress in the impeachment of Donald Trump for extorting the nation of Ukraine to do his dirty work in exchange for the missiles Ukraine desperately needs to defend itself from Russia. Remember? Bolton famously called it a "drug deal" that then-EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland and then-(acting)-Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney were "cooking up."

But that bird has flown, and oh look, the entire world is getting a dreadful show-and-tell lesson about what that impeachment was all about right now. This means Bolton is going on Newsmax and giving the Trump-sucking hosts purple nurples with his big mustache — it's a very acrobatic mustache move! — when they try to say Donald Trump was tough on Russia, and we guess we'll just have to be OK with that.

And yeah, it's kinda funny. This Bolton guy woulda been great performing for Congress!

The chirping dipshit (whose name is Rob Schmitt, apparently) chirped that "there is something to be said, though, about the simple fact that there was not aggression" from Russia during the Trump administration. Then he tried to make a list of ways Trump was "tough on Russia," as if we weren't all there to watch Trump start drooling whenever he got to be around Vladimir Putin, or literally look at a camera and ask Putin to help him steal the 2016 election. As if we didn't see all the myriad ways Trump bent over backward to satisfy Putin's every whim.

The chirping dipshit even included in his list that Trump "[sold] anti-tank weapons to Ukraine," which is the thing Trump used to extort Ukraine to help him steal the 2020 election. What immense stupidity.

So John Bolton helped him out. When Schmitt said, "He took a very tough stance against Russia," Bolton had had enough.

"No he didn't," said Bolton. "He did not. He didn't sanction Nord Stream 2. We didn't sanction Nord Stream 2. We should have. We should have brought the project to the end. We did impose sanctions on Russian oligarchs," but Bolton explained that "in almost every case, the sanctions were imposed with Trump complaining about it, saying we were being too hard."

BOLTON: The fact is, he barely knew where Ukraine was. He once asked John Kelly, his second chief of staff, if Finland were part of Russia. It's just not accurate to say that Trump's behavior somehow deterred the Russians.

Oh god, the Finland thing. That's even scarier right now, because Putin is on an invasion spree and Finland, which is on Russia's border, is not a NATO nation. (That might change fast in the coming months.)

As the dipshit host keeps chirping, Bolton expresses that he thinks Putin may have waited to invade because his military wasn't ready. That's possible. It's also possible Tom Nichols nailed it right here last week while being mean to Hugh Hewitt:


Fun seeing John Bolton's big face hair on Newsmax, though, let's do this again sometime!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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