You write one measly coup memo detailing how an absolute fucking loser can steal an election he didn't win (because America loathes him and didn't vote for him), you get a subpoena from Congress? Unfair!

But that's reportedly about to happen for John Eastman, coup-plotting galaxy brain.

The House select committee investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol is expected to subpoena John Eastman, the pro-Trump legal scholar who outlined scenarios for denying Joe Biden the presidency, according to the panel's chairman.

"It will happen," Chair Bennie G. Thompson (D-Miss.) said in an interview Tuesday of a subpoena for Eastman, who played a key role in the legal operation that was run out of a "command center" at the Willard Hotel in Washington in the days and hours leading up to Jan. 6. Thompson did not provide a timeline for when the subpoena will be issued.

The Washington Post reports that they are at the "documents and communications" stage with Eastman, and also notes that Eastman could of course avoid the unpleasantness of a subpoena if he just cooperated with the committee. But then he'd have to act like a law-abiding grown-up, which isn't really the MAGA way.


Eastman, who's to our knowledge never been on the right or morally decent side of an issue — defending Uganda's anti-gay laws and saying Kamala Harris isn't a real American come to mind — has been trying to have it both ways lately. As the Post notes, when it's convenient, he denied his own memos like Peter denied Christ:

In recent months, Eastman has distanced himself from the memos, telling the National Review last week that the options he outlined did not represent his advice. He said he wrote the memos at the request of "somebody in the legal team" whose name he could not recall.

His colleagues at the mouthbreather think tank he calls home, the Claremont Institute, are also trying to launder his soiled reputation.

But when he's got a different audience, he warbles a different tune. The Post reports that he said these words to David Brody at the Christian Broadcasting Network just last month:

"There's all sorts of evidence out there and the notion that anybody just raising these problems with the election is somehow contributing to an insurrection? Look, if in fact the election was stolen then it's the people who stole the election not the people that are shining a light on the illegalities that occurred that are undermining our democratic institutions," Eastman said.

Fascist Big-Lie-Promoting clown man say what?

And in related news, remember undercover reporter Lauren Windsor, who just recently got Texas GOP Governor Greg Abbott on tape bragging about how much he banned abortion?

Well, she met John Eastman recently, by pretending to be a deplorable MAGA idiot, which is her method. Look what he told her at a Claremont Institute gala last weekend:


Oh, you're gonna want to watch the whole thing, especially the parts where he talks about how awesome his dimwitted memo really was, how "there's no question" his legal reasoning was solid, and how Mike Pence only didn't steal the election because he's "establishment."

And there's another video on its way this morning:

Hoo boy. We'll update this post when that video drops!

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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