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John Kerry Party Boat Craziness!

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Here's your beloved 2004 presidential loser John Kerry, enjoying a "B.J." on the docks of Nantucket, where he encountered a "party boat" full ofthese gals, especially this one with the "penis straw" (for practice) and then this one with the "crotch shot." All of this is on TMZ.com, of course, because John Kerry is the new whoever-they-write-about guy!


John Kerry, of course, issues statements about everything, so it's no surprise his office would issue some lame statement about this outrage of teen alcoholism and fatness:

"As Sen. Kerry and two friends left dinner at the Straight Warf restaurant on Nantucket and walked down the dock, a large group on a boat recognized Senator Kerry and asked if they could have a photo taken. The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a photo with Sen. Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story"

And you know what? That's probably the truth.

Then the girls and their cardboard suitcase of Bud Lite got back on the S.S. Tacky and immediately sank to the bottom, where they were all eaten by lobsters.

John Kerry For Party President [TMZ]

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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