John McCain: I Suck, Vote For Me

OK, so maybe the McCain campaign has done its private polling and thinks this stuff will work, but... couldn't they try to beslightly more ridiculous? We speak of the memo that idiot campaign manager Rick Davis sent out today: "Only a celebrity of Barack Obama's magnitude could attract 200,000 fans in Berlin who gathered for the mere opportunity to be in his presence. These are not supporters or even voters, but fans fawning over The One. Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day, demand 'MET-RX chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew -- Black Forest Berry Honest Tea' and worry about the price of arugula." What is this saying, exactly?

Since the McCain campaign has been spending 100% of its time talking about Barack Obama, we can assume that the plan is to draw a contrast with John McCain. Right? So let's translate Rick Davis' memo to reveal its message about John McCain:

John McCain is not popular in Berlin. People in Berlin would choose poisoning themselves over being within a 10-mile radius of John McCain. He has literally zero supporters in Berlin, but who gives a rat's ass, those Krauts don't vote. They do not fawn over John McCain because he does not exude any sense of optimism. There is nothing John McCain can do to make people love him. Because no one loves him, he does not exercise. He drinks piss mixed with dirt when he's thirsty. He worries about the price of nothing.

"I guess I'll vote for John McCain now."

Continuing on character, McCain camp plays elitist card on Obama [Politico/Jonathan Martin]


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