John McCain Magically Grows Hair For Republican Flyer


The only man in America more vain about his hair than John Edwards is of course John McCain, who oncefamously snarled at his wife that it was better to have thinning hair than to parade around like a painted Whore of Babylon. Now we have possible photographic evidence that the Republican Party may be assisting crazy ol' John McCain in his insane delusion that he still has hair.

A reader from Jacksonville sent us a flyer for a Republican Pancake Breakfast -- one that features McCain with, as this person put it, "a youthful mane of flowing, windswept silver-fox hair!"

Which is weird, because every other photo ever taken of John McCain in the past 20 years (like the one on the left of the above comparison) has shown him with a terrible combover that only looks convincing to John McCain himself, when he stands at a very particular angle to the mirror and squints his eyes, in the dark.

So was this all just a terrible Photoshop stunt? A more likely explanation has McCain slowly draining all the fertile life-blood of his running mate, for sustenance, so that by election day he will be covered in a glistening pelt of shiny silver fur while Sarah Palin creeps around bald and broken, muttering about what a trollop John McCain is.


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