Hey, remember when Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia woke up dead from the pillow Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama took turns stuffing over his face? And remember how all of a sudden the Republican-held Senate was like NEW RULE! BLACK PRESIDENTS ONLY GET TO NOMINATE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES IN THE FIRST SEVEN-EIGHTHS OF THEIR TERM?

Yeah, it was a Seven-Eighths Compromise. See, black people? PROGRESS!

Well, we have all been having a good laugh about how President Hillary Clinton will rescind Barack Obama's nomination of Judge Merrick Garland and nominate Barack Obama to the Supreme Court instead! Oh, wouldn't that just chap their little Republican baby bottoms fierce!

Luckily, Senator John McCain has come to the rescue, sexplaining that not only do black presidents only get a seven year term instead of eight, but since the Founders didn't want women represented at all, a lady president can nominate NO Supreme Court justices!

Take it away, John McCain!

"I promise you that we will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up," McCain said. "I promise you. This is where we need the majority and Pat Toomey is probably as articulate and effective on the floor of the Senate as anyone I have encountered."

You'd be united against ANY nominee, John McCain? What if the nominee were JOHN MCCAIN?

(Dear Hillary Clinton, please do not nominate to the Supreme Court John McCain.)

So there you have it. The Supreme Court is already crippled by its inability to decide any cases due to its four-four ideological tie. And John McCain is perfectly happy to let EVERYONE ON IT DIE without any replacement! Not even Keifer Sutherland on that show, about everyone in the government dying except Keifer Sutherland! Because John McCain has not done enough to the nation already.

John McCain: Straight Talk Maverick, maverickin' it up with his straight talk, puttin' country ahead of party except maybe just this once, because he is a dick.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Guys! Gals! Non-binaries! Have you gotten around to reading Julia Ioffe's new profile of Donald Trump Jr. in GQ? We have, and it is delicious. Read it for the art alone, which you will have to click over to see for yourself, because we don't want to steal the thunder of this one chap Nigel Buchanan, who drew the most HILARIOUS picture of Dipshit curled up in a ball literally in his dad's shadow. But also read it for the hilarious anecdotes Ioffe tells, of how Junior is a really sucky person whose father doesn't love him! We already kinda knew Daddy has never loved him all that much -- hell, just follow Ashley Feinberg on Twitter, as she chronicles the social media evidence of that each and every day. And we already know he sucks really hard -- like did you hear about how everybody called him Diaper Don in college because of how much he peed on himself all the time, ALLEGEDLY?

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