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John McCain's Lobbyist Concubine Speaks, Denies Being Concubine

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Seven months and fifteen billion news cycles after everyone forgot about thatNew York Times article about John McCain's torrid sex affair with the gal who looked like his wife, only younger, that alleged gal has now surfaced to deny she ever had sex with John McCain. Whaaaa?


Americans might be confused about whether John McCain is a Maverick or a Sellout, whether he's the second coming of George W. Bush or General Patton, but there is one thing every single American can agree on -- and that is John McCain, at a decrepit, snarly, and melty-faced 72 years of age, is utterly unfuckable. (Even if he was suave and handsome once and spent his weekends banging Brazilian broads, that was back in the 1940s, when everybody had a rotary frigging telephone.) Perhaps this is why nobody cared to pursue this story about how John McCain was romancing some lobbyist, because it just seemed to awful to contemplate, both morally and aesthetically.

So where were we. Oh yes, Vicki Iseman very recently told the National Journal that she did not engage in sexual relations with that mummy:

"The New York Times set out to write a story about a 'romantic relationship' in exchange for legislative favors.... Make the lobbyist a prostitute -- pretty heady stuff. The only problem was, they were wrong on all counts."

Also she calls John Weaver, who apparently ratted her out to the Times, a Benedict Arnold and a Machiavellian. This article is waay too long for our Friday afternoon attention spans, so go read it if you wanna. It's doubtless full of good anecdotes that will remind everyone, just two and a half weeks before the election, of all the terrible corrupt sex shenanigans John McCain used to engage in, before the Depression. But not with Vicki Iseman, oh no!

Lobbyist Speaks: Rumor Of McCain Affair False, Damaging [National Journal]

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