John Oliver Wonders Why We're Still Bothering With Columbus Day (Video)
Happy Native American Genocide Day, Blame-America-First crowd! John Oliver and Last Week Tonight have this happy little video asking the important question: How is Columbus Day still a thing? It's a solemn commemoration of mattress sales and "turning up to an unexpectedly closed post office and going, 'Oh yeah. It's Columbus Day. Shit.'"
It's also an occasion for elementary school kids to see cheesy movies about how Columbus navigated all the way around the world to India, which turned out to be the Caribbean. Maybe the movies leave out a few things, like the parts of Columbus's life where he kidnapped Native Americans and sold them into slavery; had his men slice them to pieces; and through disease and warfare, killed half the population of Haiti. But in fairness, none of that rhymes with "in fourteen-hundred and ninety-two."
Sure, it's a nice occasion for Italian-Americans to celebrate their heritage, but does their heritage have to be identified with a guy whose most notable achievement was getting lost? Why not Frank Sinatra Day?
Watch and enjoy!
Also, too, since it's fall, Oliver takes on the seasonal menace that some of us love, and some of us just wonder why it exists: pumpkin-spice anything. Srsly, microbreweries, do we need pumpkin-flavored ales? Get serious.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.