And with that, we hand over Wonkette to a couple of knucklehead guest editors for the day. As we traverse the country, west to east, Holly Martins and Joe Klein will keep you up-to-date on the very latest in John Roberts data and ass-fucking alerts.

Federal appeals court judge John G. Roberts (L) stands next to President George W. Bush as Roberts' son John (3rd R) dances and his wife Jane (2nd R) and daughter Josephine look on. [AP]