Is Joni Ernst trying to lose her Iowa Senate race? Does she hate herself, and hate her job, and hate having to pretend that everything is fine, just fine with an orange shitgibbon as the avatar of her party? Is she some kind of droid or replicant who doesn't know how to string twelve words together without seeming like a callous, science-hating conspiracy lunatic?

Maybe all of the above?

On a campaign stop Monday in rural Waterloo, the Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier reported, the Iowa Republican was either unwilling or unable to push back when her supporters suggested various batshit COVID conspiracy theories.

"These health-care providers and others are reimbursed at a higher rate if COVID is tied to it, so what do you think they're doing?" Ernst responded to a question about supposedly inflated infection numbers. Because obviously doctors are faking coronavirus cases for money. This would, of course, require the labs that do the testing to be in on it, a possibility that Senator Ernst has no difficulty assuming is true.


The senator proclaimed herself "so skeptical" of the coronavirus death tally — currently 185,000 — fanning the flames of wingnut derpthink that comorbidities like obesity or heart disease mean that the the REAL number is like 10,000. Because if an obese person is walking around just fine until she contracts COVID and passes away, then actually she died of obesity, because that is just science. (It is not science.)

"I heard the same thing on the news. ... They're thinking there may be 10,000 or less deaths that were actually singularly COVID-19. ... I'm just really curious. It would be interesting to know that."

Who is THEY, Joni? Would THEY be those annoying doctors from the White House task force who told state officials on Sunday that Iowa is currently in the middle of the worst COVID spike in the country? Or is this some kind of Soros-Fauci-Bill Gates deal?

Here on Planet Earth, anti-science lying like Ernst engages in gets you banned from Twitter. Or if you're the president of the United States, it gets your dangerously erroneous retweet taken down for violating the prohibition on fake medical news.

But Senator Ernst stands for nothing and falls for everything. If Donald Trump tweeted that Democrat mayors were using fluoride to mind-control us all into becoming antifa supersoldiers to implement Venezuelan style socialism and bring integrated housing to the suburbs, she'd make that same constipated face while nodding and saying she'd heard the same on the 6 o'clock news.

Oh, hey, you know who doesn't flog nonsense conspiracy theories? Ernst's opponent, Democratic candidate Theresa Greenfield, that's who!

Wanna chip in to put someone with a functioning spine in the senate in Iowa? Here's the link.

[Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier / WaPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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