Joy Reid Just Having A Good Old Time Reminding Tucker Carlson He Ain’t Shit

Media/Entertainment

I try my best to avoid writing about opportunistic bigot Tucker Carlson, because giving him attention just helps him go viral and make more money so he can get more attention being racist, which helps him go viral and make more money ... I don't want to contribute to his professional version of that cocaine ad from the 1980s.

But Carlson has been especially racist lately about MSNBC's Joy Reid, whom I don't write about enough. She's awesome and doesn't need me to defend her. I'm just here to appreciate her recent full-press wig-snatching of Carlson. See, Reid mentioned on her show last week that although fully vaccinated, she plans to continue wearing a mask, particularly while running in Central Park, which is crowded and stink-ass under the best of circumstances. Reid is just showing other people the most basic courtesy. Carlson, who is barely a mammal, devoted a good chunk of his white power hour to attacking her personal decision.

CARLSON: Well, Joy-Ann Reid, the race lady over at MSNBC, took a quick break from haranguing whitey yesterday to reveal something deeply personal about herself on television.

Where does this clown get off calling Reid the “race lady" like she's jazz records he won't play on the radio? The “haranguing whitey" bit is both racist and hypocritical: Carlson attacks minorities every day, sure, but he spends the rest of his time whining about white liberals and Democrats.


Carlson is so obsessed with Reid that the likely contents of his browser history wouldn't overly surprise me. He's repeatedly called her the “race lady" and claimed she's lived an “unusually privileged life." Reid is a first-generation American whose parents came to this country through the 1965 Immigration Act that Carlson called an “attack on our democracy." Her mother died of breast cancer when Reid was 17 and she lived with her aunt in Flatbush, Brooklyn, before graduating from Harvard. The TV dinner heir can take several seats: You'd only consider Reid's life “unusually privileged" because she's Black and conservatives consider it a privilege when Black folks are allowed to exist. If we live in houses with ceilings and don't spend all our time tap-dancing on Fox News about how Democrats are the real racists, then we're downright ungrateful for all America's given us.

So, Monday, Reid took Carlson to the woodshed. It was so bad you'd think she'd asked him to go pick out the switch.

REID: At least three times in last month, Tucker Carlson took time off from badgering strangers in parks and bouncy houses to demand they show him their children's unmasked faces to refer to moi as the "race lady." The race lady'? Why'd he call me that? I used to run track in high school but honestly, I'm not that fast. What else could it be? Hmm.

She showed some Carlson clips at this point for fair and balanced's sake, but you don't need to see that shit, so skip ahead to 1:24 when she really tore into him.

REID: Oh, honey, honey. Tuckums. Is this really about me fixating on race, or is it about you fixating on race? I mean, when you recently went off on me for continuing to mask up post-vaccine while jogging in crowded Central Park, you weirdly threw in my attending Harvard. And I don't know, maybe I'm sensitive to this stuff, but it felt kind of like a dog whistle. I mean ... did you wanna go to Harvard? Did they reject you?

Giphy

REID: And you think ... oh, they let the “race lady" in, blergh, AFFIRMATIVE ACTION! Well, listen, let me cheer you up, OK? I got into Harvard, Yale, Vassar, and the University of Denver, too, because I had a really high GPA and fantastic SAT scores, and that's how affirmative action works. Schools search for smart people from diverse backgrounds so the schools won't be as dry as all the major sports leagues were before they desegregated. See, just because you didn't have great grades or great test scores and needed your girlfriend's daddy to help you get into college doesn't mean that you don't have amazing people in your life who love you.

Then the sister proceeded to document Carlson's many failures. Seriously, that's even the name of the official YouTube link: “Watch Joy Reid's Mini-Documentary of Tucker Carlson's Many Failures." You might've forgotten at least half of this shit, so go watch the video and laugh derisively at him.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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