Donate

Julian Assange Has Book Deal; Julian Assange Dick Photos Are Out There

News

Julian Assange is still standing in the snow outside of his mansion-prison in the land of animal-blood-eaters, talking tofellow journalists (and all the kids watching at home!) about the dangers of condom use when having sex with a sleeping woman. And also Latin American wiretapping, if they have time. He is still wearing that green jacket that you get when you win The Masters of being accused of rape by Swedish openness fangirls. And he has news for all of us: He got a book deal! And also one of those ladies he did the sex to took a picture of him lying naked on her bed, supposedly to sext to her friends and whatever the international news and/or politics version of Deadspin is (us?).


The dick photo has yet to wiki-leak to the Internet (TIPS@WONKETTE.COM! SO WE CAN VOMIT!), so we don't know if the disgusting coarse half-shaved white carpet matches the blond-highlighted disgusting drapes (WHOOPS! WE JUST DID VOMIT!). But we do know this:

When she asked him if he was wearing anything, he had allegedly said: "I am wearing you."

The Battle of the Sexes is over! This guy won it! Thanks, bro.

Oh, meanwhile, that book deal, the one worth $1.3 million because of all the gossipy sex stuff:

"I don't want to write this book, but I have to," he told the Sunday Times. "I have already spent £200,000 for legal costs and I need to defend myself and to keep WikiLeaks afloat."

Oh, he has to write this book. He has to cash in on/bolster his celebrity status. Doesn't he know Real Journalists are supposed to like writing books? Even Dana Milbank has written a few books, and he works for the Washington Post, so he must be a journalist. [ABC News/The Australian]

$
Donate with CC

Since he's such a public-spirited guy, Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke generously offered to develop some land owned by his foundation in his home town of Whitefish, Montana, as a "Veterans Peace Park" where kids could go sledding in the winter and the goodly Volk could go to appreciate both veterans and, naturally enough, the BNSF railroad, which used to use the land as a gravel pit and which donated it to Zinke's "charitable" "foundation." (Zinke's foundation, it turns out, is like Trump's, if Donald Trump were just a bit more shameless.) So naturally, here comes Halliburton!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Is there really a Blue Wave coming? Dunno! But hey, check out these polls!

(Yes, we know we got burned in 2016. And yes, we know polls this far out are no guarantee. What, you want another depressing story about baby jails? DIDN'T THINK SO. So come read these nice polls right now!)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc