Junior Does Not Wish To Correct Any Of His Senate Lies, No Thank You

Donald Trump Jr. visited with the Senate Intelligence Committee today, after finally coming to an agreement with the committee to comply with the lawful subpoena it issued. (You know, as opposed to just complying with the subpoena. They had to come to an agreement in order to keep Junior from deciding to commit crime.)

Before he walked in, he stated that no, he does not have anything to correct from his previous lie testimonies, which were kind of the reason the Republican-led committee wanted to bring him back in the first place. From one angle, it almost looks like committee chair Richard Burr is trying to give the president's unfortunate first son a get out of jail card!

After the testimony, the Washington Postreports that Dipshit said he is "not at all" worried that he'll be charged with perjury for all his lies.

"The reality is there was nothing to change. If there needed to be clarification because Michael Cohen, who let's not forget is serving time right now for lying to these very investigative bodies, I'm happy to do that," he told reporters following the interview. "I don't think I changed anything of what I said because there was nothing to change. I'm glad that this is finally over, we were able to put some final clarity on that and I think the committee understands that."

Uh huh, sure, idiot boy.

The committee likely asked Dipshit to clarify things about his knowledge of the Trump Tower Moscow deal, which Dipshit earlier told the Senate he only had "peripheral" knowledge of. Michael Cohen, on the other hand, told Congress that actually he had briefed Junior approximately 10 times as the failed deal was being negotiated. Which makes sense, because if you know anything about the mom-and-pop crime family operation going on over there at the Trump Organization, you know that the kids are involved in everything. There is literally no way Junior didn't know a ton about it. This is important because regardless of whether there was a fully developed quid pro quo between Trumpland and the Kremlin, perhaps to help Trump get into office in exchange for sanctions relief, the existence of the secret negotiations with the Russian government over a Trump Tower Moscow deal opened all of them up to being compromised by Vladimir Putin. (And we hate to belabor the point, but Robert Mueller did not establish that nothing like this existed. He simply said in his report that he was unable to establish airtight evidence of conspiracy, not in small part because people lied to his investigators and also encrypted and destroyed their communications. You know, like innocent folks do.)

Speaking of sanctions and who knows what in Trumpville, committee members also likely asked Dipshit for some clarification on whether or not he told Daddy about his big Trump Tower Russian meeting, which the Russians set up by promising delicious dirt on a campaign opponent courtesy of a hostile foreign power, and during which the Russians then pivoted to asking Junior to ask Daddy for sanctions relief if he becomes president. Michael Cohen testified to Congress that he's pretty sure Daddy knew about that crime meeting before it happened, though he is not 100 percent certain. The Mueller Report details how Michael Cohen remembers a certain phone call between Junior and Daddy beforehand, where Junior might be able to get "adverse information" about Hillary Clinton. Junior and Daddy have always (most likely lied and) said Daddy didn't know.

But it's all cool, NO LIES, NO LIES, MICHAEL COHEN IS THE LIES! He is in jail for the lies, if you hadn't heard!

Mouth-breathing wingnuts are all on the same page on that talking point. Here's GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz, using his extremely large face to remind everyone yesterday that MICHAEL COHEN and RICK GATES said LIES, so how can we even believe somebody named "Trump" is the real liar?

Poor dumbfucking large-faced dumbass apparently doesn't understand that Gates and Cohen got caught in lies because Mueller had other evidence, and that once they started cooperating, they had to tell the truth, because Mueller had the evidence before he asked the questions. One feature of cooperating agreements tends to be that if you lie while you're cooperating, like Paul Manafort did, the cooperation agreement gets torn up and thrown in the potty. Oh well, maybe one day Matt Gaetz's super-human-ly large face, which is approximately nine times the size of a normal human face, will understand things.

We still don't know why Robert Mueller didn't charge Junior for lying to Congress. (The Mueller Report says Junior "declined to be voluntarily interviewed" by his office.) Maybe he had him on a shit ton of lies, but since he determined that Junior may be too stupid to be indicted for Russian conspiracy crimes, he might have also decided to refrain from indicting Junior for the lying to Congress part, in order to protect his investigation and not start a shitshow that wasn't worth it. It's also possible Junior is still open to criminal exposure in the Stormy Daniels/Karen McDougal porn payoff/campaign finance case that landed Michael Cohen in jail, since he signed some of the payoff checks. In that case we might see a "lying to Congress" indictment come out from the Southern District of New York one of these days.

So we guess we're back where we started. We just don't know when or where Donald Trump Jr. is going to bumblefuck himself into an indictment, but when and if it happens, that will be a very good day for America, but not for the mirrors in whatever prison he ends up going to, because his face is weirder than Matt Gaetz's face and the mirrors might break, the end.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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