Smoke gets in your eyesRep. Duncan Hunter (Junior), Republican congressheir of San Diego, is already a star for vaping in the Congressional chamber like a don't-give-no-shits bro. But he may be about to get famous the old-fashioned way: for having to take out a HELOC on his house to pay back his congressional campaign for more than $60,000-worth oftotally campaign-related expenses like:

  • A nail salon
  • $217 at a jewelry store in Italy marked as "food and beverage"
  • $1200 for a garage door
  • $361 at a surf and skateboard shop
  • $229 at a Disneyland gift shop
  • and $1400 to "the Cardiff-by-the-Sea restaurant that delivers lunches to the El Cajon private school attended by Hunter’s children."

Plus, you know, another fifty-five thousand dollars worth of Costco and Jack in the Box and a dentist and oral surgeon and God only knows what else.

You will be relieved to know Rep. Duncan Hunter Jr. never meant to hurt you, never meant to make you cry; it's just that his wife, Margaret, a multitalented woman who is both an art therapist and his paid campaign manager, mixed up the credit cards $59,000-worth of times! The little lady no longer has access to the charge cards. WOMEN! AND SHOOOZ!

No no no, says Hunter spokesman Joe Kasper, it was all TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK. But just to be on the safe side, Hunter took out a home loan to pay back all the "questionable" items, like the $2000 spent touring "the Italian cities of Rome, Florence and Positano during Thanksgiving week in 2015."

How do you know that wasn't campaign-related, HENGHHH?

Anything else pertinent, San Diego Union Tribune?

Hunter has been widely reported as a contender for Secretary of Defense or National Security Adviser in Trump’s administration. [...]

Vice President-elect Mike Pence, who is leading the transition, had his own issues with personal spending of campaign money during an unsuccessful run for Congress in 1990. He used about $12,000 in campaign funds to pay his mortgage, credit cards, groceries, car payments and golf tournament fees, according to The Washington Post.

Got it.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Anyway, it is time to count down your top ten stories. You will notice that in this post there is a video of Wonkette Toddler at the lake doing lake things, and also a picture of Rebecca's Very Good Dogs watching their favorite movie, which is Wonkette Toddler eating a sandwich (above). Please enjoy these things.

OK, top ten!

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Even Fox News Can't Make Finland Trump-Shits Smell Like Roses :(

2. Dickish Trump Is Even A Dick To That Nice Old Lady From The Crown

3. Where In The World Is Michael Avenatti? He Is In London Having Tea With The Queen!

4. From Russia With Lube


6. Can We Talk About The Utter Sadness Of Breitbart's Melania Fashion Coverage?

7. Christian Lady Being A Dipshit Again

8. President Words-Stupid Sorry For Being Total Fuck-Up Just This One Time Ever

9. Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

10. Strzok Out With Your Cock Out: The 5 Best Moments From Yesterday's Peter Strzok Shitshow

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, like we mentioned above, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

As promised, kid pic and video from LAKE TIME:

OK that's all.

Yours in baby Jesus,


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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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