Junior: COVID Deaths Are 'Almost Nothing', So That's On-Brand

Junior: COVID Deaths Are 'Almost Nothing', So That's On-Brand

Yesterday, we had the largest spike in COVID-19 cases since the beginning of the pandemic: 91,530 new cases. Also, yesterday, 1,047 Americans died. So far 234,177 people in the US have died. That's a lot of people! That's so many people! That's more than four times the number of Americans who died fighting the Vietnam war. That is like 100,000 September 11s. Heck — yesterday alone is over five Oklahoma City bombings.

Donald Trump Jr. is very upset. Not about the deaths, not about the spike in new cases, but about the fact that people keep talking about the virus like it's some kind of big deal when it's definitely all under control now. Last night, he went on Laura Ingraham and whined about how unfair it was that, in the midst of this spike, no one will talk about how it's not even that bad anymore.

He said:

These people are truly morons. You know what I mean? I like how they go after Scott Atlas because he's not an epidemiologist, but Sanjay Gupta now magically is.

I mean, give me a break, Laura, the reality is this: If you look, I put it up on my Instagram a couple days ago. I went through the CDC data, cause I kept hearing about new infections. But I was like "Well why aren't they talking about deaths?" Oh! Oh! Because the number is almost nothing. Because we've gotten control of this thing. We understand how it works, they have the therapeutics to be able to deal with this. If you look at that, look at my Instagram, it's gone to almost nothing.

Well, first of all — if Sanjay Gupta were actually in charge of anything related to this epidemic other than commenting on it, I bet you people would note that he is not an epidemiologist. But he's not.

It is true that the death rates are down. This is largely attributable to the fact that while the first wave primarily hit older people, the second wave is mostly hitting younger people, who are the ones going out. From the beginning, we knew that people with underlying conditions and people over 70 were the most at risk here. As it stands now, the actual number of deaths is about half of what it was at the first peak. If we were not all taking precautions, if a good number of older people were not still being extra cautious, that number would be a lot higher. And it's likely to be in about two weeks, since deaths lag infections and hospitalizations.

Yes, there have been some innovations with regard to treatment — though not everyone gets all the "therapeutics" that Don Jr.'s Daddy got, because of how they can't afford it.

I did, actually, go over to Trump Jr.'s Instagram. Because hey! I could be wrong, and I am always open to being wrong. What I saw was an unusual number of memes in which Donald Trump Jr. is apparently supposed to be represented by Leonardo DiCaprio. What is that? The opposite of body dysmorphia?

I wonder what Leonardo DiCaprio has to say about Donald Trump. Let's go see!

We should not have people in office that do not believe in facts and in truths, in modern science, that are able to manipulate and risk the entire future of this entire generation. We are at that turning point right now and we're gonna look back at this moment in history, and frankly this administration, and certain people are gonna be vilified for not taking action.

That was about Trump's environmental policies, but it works pretty well here as well.

I also found a video announcement from Ted Nugent about an upcoming event he and Trump Jr. are doing together.

Nugent said:

Well, I don't care if you're just thirteen
You look too good to be true
I just know that you're probably clean
There's one little thing I got do to you

Jailbait, you look so good to me
Jailbait, won't you set me free
Jailbait, you look fine, fine, fine
And I know I've got to have you in a matter of time

She's young, she's tender
Won't you please surrender
She so fine, she's mine
All the time, I woke my mind

It's all right baby, it's quite all right, I asked your mama
Wait a minute officer, wait a minute officer
Don't put those handcuffs on me, what about her?
Hey, I'll share her with you!

Oh wait, no, those are just the lyrics to one of his songs. In the video he just yelled "God, family, country, freedom, Constitution, Bill of Rights, law and order!" and then invited people to come see him and Don Jr. on their tour dates.

And I did, eventually, find his analysis of CDC data, along with a greater understanding of why Donald Trump Jr. is not a data scientist or an epidemiologist.

I'm not sure what Trump Jr. plugged in to get those results, but I can tell you that the reason the media hasn't reported on this is because it's not true. According to Trump Jr.'s chart, there were only 1,477 deaths involving COVID-19 last week. The CDC actually reports that there were 2,841. (And the New York Times graph puts it north of 5000.) In fact, at absolutely no point has there been a week in which there was a total of only 1,477 deaths.

Perhaps Junior should stick to what he's good at — what that is, we don't actually know and hope to never find out.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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