Kansas To Give Gun Dealers Special Rights Like They're A Bunch Of Gays Or Something

It's a valid alternative lifestyle!

Thank Christ Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback and his team of merry Republican legislators have fixed the budgetary crisis they created, and now have time to move on to the important issues. It's time to ban discrimination against poor, helpless, harmless gun dealers, who can't help that they were #BornThatWay:

A bill that would ban discrimination against gun dealers and manufacturers will be considered by a Kansas Senate panel this week.

SB 331 would make it illegal to refuse to serve, terminate a business relationship with or “otherwise discriminate against a person or trade association solely because a person is engaged in the lawful commerce of firearms or ammunition products.”

It's called ... wait for it ... the Kansas Firearms Industry Nondiscrimination Act and holy FUCK that is adorable. If they wanted to make it sound like a gay rights bill, why didn't they just name it "Jonathon with an 'O'"?

This is entirely necessary, of course. If gays and lesbyterians and transformers have nondiscrimination acts, then who's out there thinking about the gun dealers? Republicans in Kansas, that's who.

The bill's sponsor, state Sen. Jacob LaTurner, says the bill is necessary because gun dealers face lots of extra hurdles in life that non-gun dealers don't. Bullying, for instance. You may not notice things like this, but the average U.S. American gun dealer is being terrorized by Thanks Obama on a daily basis, and the teachers at school ain't doin' nothin' about it:

Sen. Jacob LaTurner, R-Pittsburg, who introduced the bill, said it was in response to Operation Choke Point, a U.S. Justice Department initiative launched in 2013 that was aimed at preventing fraudulent businesses from using the banking system.

The initiative has faced a backlash from Republicans and the National Rifle Association, who say it has encouraged banks to sever ties with legitimate businesses deemed high risk by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, such as gun sellers.

LaTurner says, "It's not theoretical. It has happened around the country," presumably referring to the recent spate of gun dealers posting videos on YouTube about how their parents kicked them out of the house when they found out they had raised immoral gun dealers, and some of those poor souls even have to hock their guns on the streets to unsavory men just looking to shoot their bullet wads inside anybody who will swallow them, wait what were we talking about?

OK, so this Operation Choke Point or whatever. Is it a thing? It is if you're the type of person for whom Fast and Furious is a thing, or Solyndra is a thing, or Obama being truly madly deeply born in Muslimonesia out of the conjoined vaginas of Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers is a thing. In other words, if you are a shrieking spooge gizzard who writes for National Review or Breitbart, you are probably very worried about it!

[contextly_sidebar id="cR8xCE2SznIOPJ4AvPY4iEgxitK3QHei"]If you are A Normal, you are probably not worried, because Operation Choke Point ACTUALLY is a "Department of Justice project combating consumer fraud ... which aims to cut off fraudsters from the banking system." Oh look, yr Wonkette wrote about it in 2014!

The point, of course, is that the Obama administration is bullying and terrorizing the God-fearin' traditional values of Gun Dealer-Americans, taunting them with teases like "God made Adam and BRISTOL, not Adam and PISTOL."

At least Republicans in Kansas are here to tell these poor victims of discrimination that #ItGetsBetter.

[The Wichita Eagle / Kansas SB 331]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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