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Karl Rove Would Like To Troll You With His Electoral Map

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The esteemed KARL ROVE & CO. firm is out with its first electoral map of the season, and whoo boy does it show some kinda landslide for Barack Obama, giving him approximately 700 electoral votes.Really, Karl? South Carolina as a toss-up? South Carolina only does two things, and it does them well: voting against Kenyans and seceding from Unions, and they won't secede from this Union until they get another chance to vote against this Kenyan.


What might Karl Rove want? Let's go with "money." Karl Rove likes raising money, and a first map showing South Carolina as a toss-up and so forth might scare conservative donors into helping him meet that $200 to $300 million he wants to throw around while running the Romney campaign from the outside. Karl Rove is good at this stuff, that asshole. Your Wonkette is suddenly sitting next to a $10,000 check we made out to Karl Rove with derpa derp socialist derrrr! written in the memo. We have absolutely no memory of writing this, but boom, there it is, and the last thing we remember was loading his web page. Oh god, now the check is in the mail. How is this happening? Of course the check will bounce, because, ha -- "Wonkette" -- "10,000 dollars" -- c'mon.

[Karl Rove]

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Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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