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Don't faint, kids! But it seems that the GOP may be populated with GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITES! The very same senators who demanded every piece of paper that Elena Kagan ever touched are now far too busy to bother with Judge Kavanaugh's voluminous record. Yeah, it's a shocker!

When President Deep Thoughts was thinking deeply about who he was going to appoint to murder Roe v. Wade, Mitch McConnell told him in no uncertain terms to pick one of the other federalist fascists, because those guys hadn't left a mile-wide paper trail. NYT reports,


While careful not to directly make the case for any would-be justice, Mr. McConnell made clear in multiple phone calls with Mr. Trump and the White House counsel, Donald F. McGahn II, that the lengthy paper trail of another top contender, Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh, would pose difficulties for his confirmation.

Mr. McConnell is concerned about the volume of the documents that Judge Kavanaugh has created in his 12 years on the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, as well as in his roles as White House staff secretary under President George W. Bush and assistant to Kenneth W. Starr, the independent counsel who investigated President Bill Clinton.

But no one puts Babyshits in the corner! So Republicans are now howling foul that Democrats demand to see a million pages of records from the SCOTUS nominee whose record runs to a million pages. Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley (R - Deer Dead) requested a narrower set of documents on Kavanaugh than had been produced for Kagan by August 15. But the National Archives told him to GTFO, since that volume of document production will take them until late October.

Mitch McConnell is "threatening" to delay Kavanaugh's confirmation until just before the midterms if Democrats keep pushing for document production -- which is supposed to be some kind of Gotcha! we guess? In Politico's version of this story, the crafty Majority Leader is forcing vulnerable red state Democrats Heitkamp, Donnelly, Manchin, and McCaskill to stay in DC and take a politically risky vote, only to be "deflated" when they lose. But you can color us mighty skeptical that McConnell would try that shit if he was confident he had the votes. More likely, he's trying to bluff his way into an early hearing before someone finds Kavanaugh's fingerprints all over the infamous John Yoo "Torture Memo." Gotta get that Roe killer confirmed before any more of his writings on presidential immunity from criminal prosecution leak out!

For his part, Chuck Grassley's still insisting that Kavanaugh's confirmation hearing will take place in September, come H-E-double hockey sticks or high water! He's making darn sure that weak-chinned white dude will be on the court when it gavels in the fall term in October. And if the GOP has to plant a story every week about the carpool fascist coaching basketball or going to the daddy-daughter dance, they will do it!

But Democrats also know how to TROLL SO HARD. All 10 Judiciary Committee Dems have filed FOIA requests for Judge Kavanaugh's records from his time as an associate in the White House Counsel's office and as White House staff secretary. Like a common Buzzfeed! If the National Archive is going to claim executive privilege requires it to redact entire categories of Kavanaugh's record -- a claim made by neither Obama nor Clinton when they nominated justices -- then these senators are going to hang a giant neon sign on their partisan intransigence.

And now, time for some #HotTakes.

We are old enough to remember when GOP senators, including Tom Cotton, refused to meet with Merrick Garland when we had a president who wasn't at the center of eleventy hundred criminal investigations. But ... this way madness lies.

VOTE. THESE. FUCKERS. OUT.

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[NYT / Politico / CNN]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Hello! Here a beautiful open thread for you to not comment all over, so that you don't not comment all over Dok's book club post.

I was gonna drop my Nonnie's recipe for Easter bread in here, but apparently it has to proof overnight and is also for approximately 87,000 people, so not much of a point to that! (Though here it is if you really want it. She doesn't do the egg thing, but if you want, you can put some dyed raw eggs in the braided dough before you bake. And you can add sprinkles, and anise if you're gross and like gross things) I was gonna try and make it myself last night, but have instead opted to just make waffles. Waffles are FINE.

So instead, I shall just leave you with this absolutely terrifying version of The Velveteen Rabbit starring Marie Osmond as said velveteen rabbit. Coincidentally, Marie Osmond is also Nonnie's 2nd arch-nemesis, after Rachel Ray (Rachel Ray because she doesn't pull her hair back when she cooks, and Marie for reasons I'm not entirely clear on but which I believe are related to a Weight Watchers commercial).

THE VELVETEEN RABBIT starring Marie Osmond - full length feature youtu.be


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'Unemployed men queued outside a depression soup kitchen opened in Chicago by Al Capone' -- National Archives

Happy Day Before Half-Priced Easter Chocolate Day, Wonkers! Time to wrap up our Wonkette Book Club discussion of Winter War: Hoover, Roosevelt, and the First Clash Over the New Deal, by Erich Rauchway, a historian at UC-Davis. We're increasingly convinced the book might have just as well been titled Herbert Hoover: Christ, What An Asshole! As ever, even if you haven't finished the reading, jump in anyway -- there won't be a test!

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