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Don't faint, kids! But it seems that the GOP may be populated with GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITES! The very same senators who demanded every piece of paper that Elena Kagan ever touched are now far too busy to bother with Judge Kavanaugh's voluminous record. Yeah, it's a shocker!

When President Deep Thoughts was thinking deeply about who he was going to appoint to murder Roe v. Wade, Mitch McConnell told him in no uncertain terms to pick one of the other federalist fascists, because those guys hadn't left a mile-wide paper trail. NYT reports,


While careful not to directly make the case for any would-be justice, Mr. McConnell made clear in multiple phone calls with Mr. Trump and the White House counsel, Donald F. McGahn II, that the lengthy paper trail of another top contender, Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh, would pose difficulties for his confirmation.

Mr. McConnell is concerned about the volume of the documents that Judge Kavanaugh has created in his 12 years on the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, as well as in his roles as White House staff secretary under President George W. Bush and assistant to Kenneth W. Starr, the independent counsel who investigated President Bill Clinton.

But no one puts Babyshits in the corner! So Republicans are now howling foul that Democrats demand to see a million pages of records from the SCOTUS nominee whose record runs to a million pages. Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley (R - Deer Dead) requested a narrower set of documents on Kavanaugh than had been produced for Kagan by August 15. But the National Archives told him to GTFO, since that volume of document production will take them until late October.

Mitch McConnell is "threatening" to delay Kavanaugh's confirmation until just before the midterms if Democrats keep pushing for document production -- which is supposed to be some kind of Gotcha! we guess? In Politico's version of this story, the crafty Majority Leader is forcing vulnerable red state Democrats Heitkamp, Donnelly, Manchin, and McCaskill to stay in DC and take a politically risky vote, only to be "deflated" when they lose. But you can color us mighty skeptical that McConnell would try that shit if he was confident he had the votes. More likely, he's trying to bluff his way into an early hearing before someone finds Kavanaugh's fingerprints all over the infamous John Yoo "Torture Memo." Gotta get that Roe killer confirmed before any more of his writings on presidential immunity from criminal prosecution leak out!

For his part, Chuck Grassley's still insisting that Kavanaugh's confirmation hearing will take place in September, come H-E-double hockey sticks or high water! He's making darn sure that weak-chinned white dude will be on the court when it gavels in the fall term in October. And if the GOP has to plant a story every week about the carpool fascist coaching basketball or going to the daddy-daughter dance, they will do it!

But Democrats also know how to TROLL SO HARD. All 10 Judiciary Committee Dems have filed FOIA requests for Judge Kavanaugh's records from his time as an associate in the White House Counsel's office and as White House staff secretary. Like a common Buzzfeed! If the National Archive is going to claim executive privilege requires it to redact entire categories of Kavanaugh's record -- a claim made by neither Obama nor Clinton when they nominated justices -- then these senators are going to hang a giant neon sign on their partisan intransigence.

And now, time for some #HotTakes.

We are old enough to remember when GOP senators, including Tom Cotton, refused to meet with Merrick Garland when we had a president who wasn't at the center of eleventy hundred criminal investigations. But ... this way madness lies.

VOTE. THESE. FUCKERS. OUT.

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[NYT / Politico / CNN]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Earlier this week, the Ecuadorian embassy in the UK told Julian Assange that it would evict him if he didn't stop being a slob and start taking care of his cat. Assange responded today by announcing he is taking legal action and claiming Ecuador violated his human rights by making him do his own laundry and pay rent. (He is reminding us of THIS awesome dude, who sued his parents for refusing to live anymore with a dude as awesome as he.) Pretty soon they're going to tell him to do things like "get a job" and "move out." GAWD, parents and embassies offering asylum to scumbag freeloaders are just the worst!

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The bat signal has gone out in Trumpland, and the vampires are obediently flying in formation. This Khashoggi murder story isn't going away, but here in US Amurika we got bombs to sell. So the GOP Brain Trust called an emergency meeting and came up with A PLAN. What if Jamal Khashoggi was a terrorist who deserved to be beaten, dismembered with a bone saw, and have his body repatriated to Saudi Arabia in pieces distributed among his killers' luggage? Can Republicans really have sunk that far?

YES, THEY CAN. The Washington Post reports,

In recent days, a cadre of conservative House Republicans allied with Trump has been privately exchanging articles from right-wing outlets that fuel suspicion of Khashoggi, highlighting his association with the Muslim Brotherhood in his youth and raising conspiratorial questions about his work decades ago as an embedded reporter covering Osama bin Laden, according to four GOP officials involved in the discussions who were not authorized to speak publicly.

Those aspersions — which many lawmakers have been wary of stating publicly because of the political risks of doing so — have begun to flare into public view as conservative media outlets have amplified the claims, which are aimed in part at protecting Trump as he works to preserve the U.S.-Saudi relationship and avoid confronting the Saudis on human rights.

Wow, that's pretty fuckin' evil, even by the debased standards of today's GOP! But if that's what it takes to protect Trump and Kush, Fox is here to oblige. Here's Harris Faulkner on the curvy couch wondering if maybe Jared Kushner's BFF Mohammed bin Bonesaw even has time to order the murder of a dissident reporter since, "He's dealing with a whole host of other issues over there." He's probably too busy, like, washing his manly beard to murder people outside Saudi Arabia, right?

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