Brett Kavanaugh has not had the greatest week! He is a perjury man, and nobody likes him, and Mazie Hirono, Cory Booker, and Kamala Harris took some chunks out of his flesh. (The editrix, who loves a longshot, thinks he actually withdraws.) To send you off on your weekend, we've rounded up some extra special stories about why Brett Kavanaugh is a horrible garbage monster.

In The Nation, Joan Walsh summarized how Democrats started the hearings off by pissing all over the rug Chuck Grassley was using to hide hundreds of thousands of pages of emails, articles, and memos Kavanaugh had written and received over the years. Walsh understands the anger progressives felt when Democrats didn't walk out, but had that happened we never would have gotten those screen grabs of Kavanaugh twisting his face as protesters called him a racist lady killer.

Kavanaugh's time in the Bush 43 White House meant that he participated in a whole host of shady things, and then later lied about them. Literally. In 2006, as Lisa Graves writes in Slate, Kavanaugh flat out lied under oath during his hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee about receiving stolen memos -- Graves's, in fact. Graves argues that Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court shouldn't just be struck down, but that we should #IMPEACH.

On Wednesday the New York Times published an op-ed from Sean Wilentz about how Kavanaugh was obsessed with the death of Vince Foster. Even though Foster's death was ruled a suicide by every prior investigation, Kavanaugh felt it necessary to pick apart every carpet fiber on Foster's corpse, going so far as to even hunt for leftover hair follicles from Foster's teenage daughter alongside lifelong conservative conspiracy theorists Chris Ruddy, Ambrose Evans-Pritchard, and Reed Irvine. Kavanaugh's defenders have specifically noted his attention to detail, but they can't explain why Republicans in the 1990s seemed so obsessed with blood and cum stains.

The Kavanaugh hearings have been a complete shitshow. Mitch McConnell is threatening to investigate Cory Booker for his "unusual behavior" during the nomination hearings. Nevertheless, he persisted, and released a bunch of documents showing Kavanaugh's true thoughts on abortion, racial profiling, and more. Over 200 of protesters have been arrested for trying to bring attention to the positions Kavanaugh just can't seem remember -- at least until Kamala Harris shoves a boot up his ass to jog his memory.

Today character witnesses testified for and against Kavanaugh. There was gut wrenching testimony from Parkland survivor Aalayah Eastmond, who recounted her time during the massacre and warned that Kavanaugh's stance against common sense gun reform would only create more tragedies. But the highlight was testimony from John Dean, Nixon's White House Counsel who unaccountably found a conscience and, in the process, amazed America (and spilled the beans about the WH taping system -- a taping system that the Supreme Court would later demand Nixon hand over). Dean argues that people like Kavanaugh wants to expand the already broad presidential powers the founding fathers feared, and we should slap anyone who thinks Nixon was treated unfairly.

And if that wasn't enough for you, even the fashionistas at New York Fashion Week are protesting Kavanaugh.

Then of course there are the stories you might have missed at your Wonkette. Bone up kids, then CALL YOUR GODDAMN SENATORS. And now it is your OPEN THREAD!

Wonkette is ad-free. Isn't that nice? Give us money.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

Donate with CC

OOH BOY HOWDY, The Federalist is on fire this week! Just this morning we told you about the hilarious Federalist column where one neo-Nazi's mom and dad are Democrats, ipso facto QED NEO-NAZIS ARE THE REAL LIBERALS, FUCKERS! Is America's dumbest woman whose name doesn't rhyme with Cara Snailin' over there being a total fuckin' Mollie Hemingway right now? Sadly, she blocked us on Twitter, so how could we possibly know? The answer is WE DON'T CARE.

But now we have a gem of the Federalist genre, an article written by a whiny-ass gay quisling conservative, who would like to chew on his blankie and whine about how much harder it is out there for a conservative than it is for a gay person. This is a subject we happen to have some knowledge about, because we are super gay! And we know a lot about conservatives, both firsthand -- being subjected to them every single one of our almost four decades of life -- and also from covering extremist right-wing Christians for a very long time. Particularly the kind that tell young, impressionable, vulnerable gay kids that they need to pray away the gay if they want Jesus to exercise some self control and refrain from sending them to a fiery hell for all eternity.

We clicked on the article with high hopes. See if you can spot why:

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
pic via Glamour Shots, we mean this dude's old website

The House Education and Workforce Committee was all set to have a hearing today all about the horrors that a higher minimum wage would wreak on the economy. Horrors like rich people being slightly less rich. Horrors like business owners claiming they will have to fire people and charge $15 for a McChicken if forced to pay workers a living wage, which they won't actually do because no one will buy a $15 McChicken and they would go out of business if they tried that, and they already don't hire more people than the bare minimum they can get away with. Horrors like poor people not being "motivated" to work harder and get better jobs that do not pay them an amount no human being could possibly live on.

Alas, as Politico reports, it was not to be, as committee members discovered their big witness for the hearing, San Diego State University economist Joseph Sabia (pictured above in a Glamour Shot from his archived website), was kind of a wacko.

Sabia, as it turns out, once had a blog called "No Shades Of Gray," in which he wrote many columns of an extremely homophobic and sexist persuasion. In one of these columns, in 2002, Sabia was very mad about one man's lawsuit against several fast food giants for contributing to his health and obesity problems by failing to disclose the nutritional information of the food they sold. In retrospect, I think most people are now on board with these chains being required to post calorie counts and other nutritional information, but in 2002, Sabia was convinced that requiring them to do this would be an assault on freedom for all Americans everywhere. His response to this was to try and attempt a Jonathan Swift posture and suggest taxing gay sex, which he claimed leads to "disastrous health consequences."

Because sure, that's the same thing, basically.

In gay sex, we have an activity that is clearly leading to disastrous health consequences. What rational person would engage in this sort of activity? There is only one solution - let's tax it.

"Come on, Sabia," you say, "how are you going to enforce these taxes? Are you going to send government officials to peep into everyone's bedroom?"

Eventually. But first we have to mount the assault on Big Gay (no, I am not talking about Rosie O'Donnell). We can tax gay nightclubs, websites, personal ads, sexual paraphernalia, and so forth. Talk about a sin tax!!! We can cripple gay-related industries and get them right where we want them. All gay clubs will have to feature huge, flashing warning signs like "CAUTION: Entering this nightclub may increase your chance of contracting STDs and dying."

Big Gay clearly lures people into trying their "product" without discussing the risks to mind, body, and soul. The average Joe on the street does not understand all of the possible bad outcomes. I can almost hear him now:

"They said '100 percent hotties.' I thought that meant it was fun. I thought gay sex was OK…Now I have all these diseases. Big Gay has wrecked my life."

In the immoral words of Warren G, "Regulators!! Mount up!"


In another 2002 article, classily titled "College Girls: Unpaid Whores," Sabia laments that feminists have led college girls to stop trying to be like the Holy Virgin Mary and instead to aspire to be more like that hussy Ally McBeal.

No, really.

As women have strayed from the church, they have replaced what is holy with what is temporally pleasing. For Catholics, the model woman is Mary, the virgin Mother of God. She is beloved by the faithful for her unflappable devotion to and trust in God, her nurturing of the Son of Man, and her deep love for all humanity.

Today's college girl looks to Ally McBeal, the trollops of Sex in the City, and the floozies on Friends to set their moral compasses.

The sad truth is that college girls are so desperate to find love that they are willing to degrade themselves to get it. But true love can only be understood in the context of the Word of God. Any other notion of "love" is secular and, by definition, limited and finite.

Not only that, but instead of going to college to find a husband, they have boyfriends. Boyfriends they have S-E-X with. And sometimes, not even that. Sometimes they have sex with people just because they want to have sex with people, and not even in exchange for Valentine's Day cards or money!

Additionally, other sex-based relationships have become commonplace. In recent years, a new and disturbing arrangement known as "friends with benefits" has emerged. In this arrangement, men are not even forced to perform the normal duties of boyfriends, i.e. flowers, Valentine's Day cards, rides to the abortion clinic, etc. Instead, girls consider these guys "just friends" whom they happen to screw every now and again. No strings, no attachments, no dinners. Just sex when they feel like it.

This type of arrangement is the next logical step in the direction that young women have drifted in the last few decades. These women have become unpaid whores. At least prostitutes made a buck off of their trade. These women just give it away.

How cute! He was like the ur-incel, basically.

Anyway, following the discovery of the posts, the House Education and Workforce Committee's GOP communications director Kelley McNabb told Politico that "members were uncomfortable moving forward on the hearing." A more optimistic person might think this was a step forward, that maybe those committee members actually thought it was bad to suggest that being gay means being a disease-ridden monster or that college girls are whores, but it's probably more to avoid embarrassment than anything else. Guess they'll have to start from scratch and find a crappy economist who will tell them what they want to hear about the minimum wage but who doesn't have an embarrassing Geocities blog in their past. Good luck with that!


Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc