via Twitter Wonker@BewareSailor

On Tuesday, Attorney General Jeff Sessions sat his cattywampus ass down, lied to the Senate Intelligence Committee about why Donald Trump fired James Comey, refused to answer questions about his non-privileged conversations with the president, and STILL couldn't recall whether he had international relations with the Russian ambassador three times. One of the most memorable moments was when he made clear that, though he might be recused from the Trump-Russia investigation, "I DID NOT RECUSE MYSELF FROM DEFENDING MY HONOR AGAINST SCURRILOUS AND FALSE ALLEGATIONS!" Duly noted, sir!

But our favorite Sessions quote of all was, "I'm not able to be rushed this fast! It makes me nervous!" That's what he said when extremely mean black lady woman vagina-having whippersnapper Senator Kamala Harris was doing THAT THING SHE DOES -- asking really good rapid-fire questions, like the badass former prosecutor she is. Old Republican weasel-snatches in the Senate do NOT like it when she does that! Let's LOL at it again together: