Sen. Kelly Loeffler released a fun new ad yesterday touting her credentials as the most conservative person in Congress, at least according to one rightwing political outfit. In the Geico-style ad, a couple watching TV happily remarks that Loeffler is "more conservative than Attila the Hun." Which is exactly what you want to be to prove you love America, or at least fifth-century central and eastern Europe. Is it the stupidest ad of the 2020 campaign? Hard to say, but it's certainly among the cheapest looking!

The ad is supposed to be hawking Loeffler's "100-percent" score on slavish devotion to Donald Trump, bestowed by the Heritage Foundation's political advocacy arm, Heritage Action. A suburban couple blathers a bit about how VERY conservative Loeffler is, and then we cut to what appears to be a secondhand set from the original Star Trek — probably the third season, at that. Attila growls gibberish at an aide, who translates:

Attila: Gurp Garff!

Aide: "Fight China" — got it.

Attila: Heygg garr!

Aide: "Attack big government" — Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Attila: Garrr Shrrm!

Aide: "Eliminate the liberal scribes" — uh-oh!

Narrator: More conservative than Attila the Hun. Kelly Loeffler, 100% Trump voting record.

Haw-haw, conservatives have always hated the liberal media, and if reelected, Kelly Loeffler will apparently have all the reporters executed or something! It's fun!


Sure, we could nitpick about how it's a little weird to try to flatter yourself by comparison to a dude known for laying waste to Roman cities, since your law-n-order conservatives are all complaining it's Joe Biden who dreams of sacking and looting. Also, say what you will about Attila's use of total war, at least there's no record of his ever using inside information about the plague to divest himself of stocks.

It's not even clear who this ad is supposed to appeal to: Loeffler's supposed strength as a candidate was that she'd win over suburban white women who might be turned off by more fire-breathing conservatives. But since Rep. Doug Collins is running to Loeffler's right, we guess she feels the need to reassure wingnuts that she too can be barbaric. The whole stupid thing seems to have started with a Collins spokesperson's calling Loeffler a "phony" back in August, because she supposedly wasn't racist enough in response to Black Lives Matter protests.

[Collins ] spokesman Dan McLagan told The Daily Beast in an email[,] "She was a quiet little corporate liberal who was fine with flag protests and diversity slogans until she fell behind in her Senate race. Now she's trying to be Attila the Hun."

"She'll say anything to get elected," McLagan added. "She'll probably do a TV ad in blackface before this is all over."

Or an ad proclaiming that she is, in fact, Attila the Hun. She's probably holding back the blackface ad for the week before the election.

Yesterday, the Collins campaign sniffed that it found the ad quite untoward, because clearly Loeffler thinks "conservatives are grunting, filthy, mass-murdering open borders atheist polygamists." We suppose that "open borders" bit is on target; Attila was no fan of walled cities.

At least it was good for the nerds of History Nerd Twitter; lots of folks pointing out that Attila had his eyes on Rome, while the guy who went after China was Genghis Khan, aka John Wayne.

If you'd like to tell Collins and Loeffler you don't care which one feels more kinship with the Ostrogoths, you could send some money to the leading Democrat in Georgia's weirdass multi-way Senate tussle, Rev. Raphael Warnock. (Joe Lieberman's son is the other Democrat, and he seems to be playing spoiler!) He's more into good government than trying to be a Disney villain or an ancient warlord.

[Jacob Rubashkin on Twitter / Daily Beast / Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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